Thursday, January 19, 2017

the one where we ruin textiles

Over six years ago I purchased a couch. It had clean lines and was comfy. It came with tons of pillows and was just beautiful.

And it was barely off-white.

Do you know what moving does to an off-white couch? Do you know what a husband who has a tendency to spill his coffee does to an off-white couch? DO YOU KNOW WHAT CHILDREN DO TO AN OFF-WHITE COUCH?

It quickly becomes less off-white and more of a dirty wanna-be beige.

But I wasn't worried. I scoured Pinterest and decided that I would just dye the couch a new color. I WOULD JUST DYE IT A NEW COLOR.

I followed the directions explicitly, and decided to just dye the seat cushions first. And it went great! The color was like a foresty/bluish green color. The stains were being covered! Everything was perfect. Until it dried. And then the dye somehow disappeared. Except for the areas that were previously stained were now foresty/bluish green stains.

So then we got a slipcover. A horrible, cheap slipcover that didn't really fit the couch and got saggy after anyone breathed on the couch. A slipcover that made Ryan so irrationally angry at a polyester blend that one day it was ripped from the couch and a blanket was just sort of folded on the cushions.

At the same time, we got a kitten. Or found it in our garage and Ryan begrudgingly let us keep it. A kitten who decided that the pleather love seat that we had was the perfect scratching post despite being squired with water whenever she got near it.

...

TLDR

We got a new couch. It's beautiful, kind, and sometimes I let the kids sit on it.