Friday, June 17, 2016

the one where i'm exhausted.

I'm entering my fourth month as a SAHM, and I'm exhausted. 

Like, exhausted in ways that I never understood. I've been peed on. I've broken up more fights than I thought possible. Did you know it was possible to argue about cereal?


I've killed countless fish. We rescued a kitten. I've nearly passed out blowing up a baby pool. I have said the phrase "I'm not a short order cook"...which just lead to a line of questioning that I didn't expect. I've folded laundry, swept, mopped, meal planned, kept an organized family appointments calendar, loaded the dishwasher, and consumed more pots of coffee than my kidneys appreciate.

I've snuggled, played Legos, read books, "mined" for minerals, ran through sprinklers, played endless board games, and watched one of them really ride a bike for the first time. I've made muffins, pies, and brought meals to friends. I've kissed ouchies, cheered, and given Magical Dream Spells every night that the boys are home.

I am exhausted. In a way I couldn't ever imagine.

And it's been the absolute best gift that Ryan has ever given me.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

the one where we got married

On March 20th, Ryan and I stood in front of our children, our families, and our friends to make our promises to each other. 

It was loud, messy, far from perfect but full of a lot of love...just like us. He is simply the best, and makes me feel like I'm the light of his world every single day. He makes me want to be a better person, and let's me be the best version of myself at the same time.

Marrying your best friend and throwing a party to celebrate it is pretty much the best. You should really do it.

Saturday, January 30, 2016


Her breath is hot against my cheek, smelling like Cheerios. She nuzzles in, closer than I thought was humanly possible. Her sticky, chubby fingers grasp handfuls of my shirt, her chest rising and falling with each deep breath. Her stirring slows until she stops completely, finally content with the way her body meshes into mine. 

My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest because I know that soon she will be chasing her brothers around the house, too busy to snuggle. 

This is important.

Lazy afternoons with nothing but the delicious weight of a snoring baby on the agenda. Squeals from little boys eating gross jelly beans. Countless games of Uno and Candy Land. Watching the same tricks on the trampoline on repeat. Taking note of Halloween costume requests in February. Writing notes from the Tooth Fairy. Kissing boo-boos. Making school lunches. Reading bedtime stories.

This is what I want to remember. 

Being a parent, being THEIR mom is more incredible than I could have ever imagined. Experiencing life through their eyes, watching them learn by trying new things, taking wobbly steps and getting to grow with them is a beautiful, messy gift.

And I wouldn't trade it for anything.