Friday, October 18, 2013

the one where I can't figure it all out

I've always sort have been an odd duck. I'm sure that you're able to categorize me to fit into this box or into that one, but I've never figured it out. I'm not really sure who I am.

I mean, all of the obvious groupings I get; I overlap the insanely gorgeous/incredibly hilarious/unbelievably intelligent circles easily. And humble. Obviously. But after that, I'm at a loss.

It's always been this way. While other kids might have been playing their organized sports, I was in the front yard playing with my ribbon dancer. Friends were listening to KidBopz while I sang Simon and Garfunkel hits. While other girls were cheerleaders for Halloween, I was Tippi Hedren from The Birds. 

I'd like to present myself as an enigma. But really, I think that it's way more than that. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a sai...well, you get the idea.

We've been working through "telling ourselves the truth" at Vintage in my exco for the past few weeks. And you guys, it's getting deep. It's ugly crying and affirmation. It's understanding and compassion. 

I'm coming to the conclusion that it's okay to not know who I am. I'm constantly evolving, changing who I am while keeping my core values steady. I  think Jesus would approve.

And Meredith Brooks.



1 comment:

Holly said...

I love the thought, "constantly evolving, changing who I am while keeping my core values steady. " Yes! That's a good balance of growth.