Monday, October 14, 2013

the one where I almost amputate a finger

I love fashion. I love style. There's nothing more satisfying than creating the perfect outfit, unless you want to count motherhood. THEN WHATEVER. It's a close second.

There's something about being able to change how others perceive you simply by what you wear. Jorts and an oversized sweater project a carefree, casual image. Skinnies with a killer blouse and heels shows confidence and style. Fitted dresses with high necklines are sexy and slightly playful.

But what really makes any outfit shine are what accessories are paired with it. Simple chains, chunky statement necklaces, great earrings, or an arm of bangles all make different statements. Lately I've been a little more than obessessed with midi rings. 

Midi rings are these tiny little rings that you wear on your first knuckle. Some are incredibly elaborate, but I happen to prefer simple gold or silver bands. 

I have long fingers, and they're on the skinnier side. So I wasn't totally shocked when I was putting on a new midi ring and it just slipped all the way down the length of my finger. It didn't hurt or look too tight, so I decided to just wear it as is.

Flash forward to hours later when I was getting ready for bed. My finger has sort of become swollen, and the little midi ring was now tight. Really tight, actually. Uncomfortably tight to the point that I needed it off, and I needed that to happen now.

I tugged. I twisted. I pulled. I wet my finger. I used my teeth. My finger became fatter and fatter, now red from the pressure of the TINIEST RING IN THE WORLD strangling it. WHAT IDIOT DESIGNED A RING SO TINY THAT IT WOULD WANT TO KILL MY FINGER?

I did my usual, you know, keeping cool. 

After lotioning failed, I found a pair of scissors in the drawer. For a minute I contemplated amputating my finger. I mean, if I can survive the Furry Vest Incident of 2012, surely I can handle one less digit. AMIRIGHT?

In the end, the ring just sort of popped off during a last ditch effort. How anticlimatic, right?

No comments: