Friday, October 4, 2013

on telling yourself the truth

On Tuesday I'll attend my first exco at Vintage Fellowship, titled "Telling Yourself the Truth". 

Can I tell you how excited I am about this group?! I hate getting all preachy, but God really has this providence thing down. I'm just starting on the upswing of some pretty dark moments, and being forced to recognize, hear, and speak the truth about myself seems like the perfect segue into becoming a healthier, whole person.

I'm a kind person. I try to be kind to those that I love. I try to be kind to those I'm around. I try to be kind when it's the last thing I want to do. I try to be kind when extending grace seems impossible. I've mentioned before that prior to knowing how my world would completely change, I had decided that being the kindest version of myself was my resolution for the year.

And I've failed. Not because I get frustrated or angry with others. Not because I cry. Not because I've thought angry thoughts or said hurtful things. I've failed because I've been so very unkind to myself.

So why am I unable to be kind to myself?

I let myself believe lies. What I see in the mirror is something hideous. Unworthy of love. Unworthy of being desired. Unworthy of grace, mercy, and compassion. I hide behind a smile or a quick joke. I'm practically the Queen of Self-Deprication. 

So on Tuesday I am gathering with others who also lie to themselves. Who can't see how incredible they are. And hopefully we'll all see how wonderfully created we are, because we were created in His image. In His likeness. To be like Him.

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