Saturday, July 6, 2013

Mad Scientist

Dating is this experiment where you try to put the best version of yourself out there in hopes that something might click. When your dating pool comes from somewhere like match.com, you're able to get a snapshot of what this person is like. And namely if they can spell.

So when you decide to meet someone for a date after witty banter, the panic sets in. 

I'm not too proud to say that I'm way better in print than I am in person. I'm smarter, funnier, and my muffin top has all but disappeared. And I'm way prettier when all you can see is a snippet of this or that. 

I don't translate well in person. I'm awkward. I either won't talk or won't shut up. I fiddle with my hair, wondering at what point I crossed that fine line from Ginnifer Goodwin to Justin Beiber. I rethink my decision of wearing tall shoes that make my legs look pretty because the man across from me is 5'7", not the 5'10" they described. 

After the awkward conversation, it always leads to WHHHHHHY I'm getting divorced. Which, while I don't mind answering, isn't really what I want to discuss after first meeting someone. And then seeing the puzzled looks after I explain that we get along pretty well, and plan to keep a friendship...well, that's fun.

The whole dating scene reminds me of some sort of mad scientist, mixing chemicals and elements to see what reaction he might get. So far everything has fizzled, but one day I know I'll encounter something mind blowing.

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