Sunday, July 28, 2013

Why I'm not sure I want to be a 31 Woman

Growing up in a Southern Baptist church, it was drilled into our heads that we, as girls, should only strive for one thing.

To be a 31 Woman.

I'm sure this term is familiar with most of you. For those who are completely lost, Proverbs 31 outlines what a woman "should" be. I've poured over this verse so many times, looking at my downfalls compared to the woman described in Proverbs 31.

And after a lot of thought, I'm not sure I want to be one.

The 31 Woman works non-stop. Her joy comes from working into the early morning hours while her house is asleep, then rising before them to usher in the day.

She runs her own business, and she delights in that. She speaks wisely, helps others in need, and brings respect to her husband by her actions.

Then she works some more.

There is nothing wrong with any of that. Those are all attributes I think that most people, not just Jewish and Christian women, want to have. We all want to be hard workers,  be wise, and bring a level of respect to those we are around.

But there's so much more. It never mentions that she should be prayerful. God fearing yes, but not prayerful. It never mentions how she should spend time reading and studying the Scriptures. 

It doesn't mention that she should be a good steward of her body. While it mentions kindness and aiding the needy, it doesn't mention showing grace to others when you might want to the least.

It doesn't show that she should be aware enough to ask questions. It doesn't mention that she should try to continuously educate herself. To grow as as a valuable person in this world.

It mentions serving her husband, bringing him joy and pride. And it mentions her children. Once.

So I'm not sure I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Not because it's a bad thing. But because I don't want to be limited to trying to fit the whole of my being into eleven verses. 

There's so much more.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Mad Scientist

Dating is this experiment where you try to put the best version of yourself out there in hopes that something might click. When your dating pool comes from somewhere like match.com, you're able to get a snapshot of what this person is like. And namely if they can spell.

So when you decide to meet someone for a date after witty banter, the panic sets in. 

I'm not too proud to say that I'm way better in print than I am in person. I'm smarter, funnier, and my muffin top has all but disappeared. And I'm way prettier when all you can see is a snippet of this or that. 

I don't translate well in person. I'm awkward. I either won't talk or won't shut up. I fiddle with my hair, wondering at what point I crossed that fine line from Ginnifer Goodwin to Justin Beiber. I rethink my decision of wearing tall shoes that make my legs look pretty because the man across from me is 5'7", not the 5'10" they described. 

After the awkward conversation, it always leads to WHHHHHHY I'm getting divorced. Which, while I don't mind answering, isn't really what I want to discuss after first meeting someone. And then seeing the puzzled looks after I explain that we get along pretty well, and plan to keep a friendship...well, that's fun.

The whole dating scene reminds me of some sort of mad scientist, mixing chemicals and elements to see what reaction he might get. So far everything has fizzled, but one day I know I'll encounter something mind blowing.