Saturday, June 1, 2013

the one where it covers all of me

John and I are currently separated, and will be getting divorced later this year.

It's been a hard few months, and like every life-changing event, it's a process. I'm well into the healing process, even though some of the wounds are still tender and raw. I think that John is in the same place.

It'd be easy to point fingers, to place blame on why our marriage failed. But that's not going to happen. It simply didn't; it is what it is. There isn't any juicy gossip or scandal. There was no fighting or violence.

It just is what it is.

He's almost fully moved into his new apartment, and the boys will start spending about half of their time there next week.

It just is what it is.

A lot of people who have been around us together after hearing about our separation have been surprised about how we interact. We are kind, respectful, and acting the same as we did before. We never had a problem getting along; that was never an issue.

My resolution for 2013 was to be kind. To be kinder than I had ever been before, even when it's hard. I didn't know that this was what was in store for me in 2013, but I've tried my hardest to be as kind as possible. You can't stop situations that are out of your hands, but you can change your attitude and perception. I'm thankful that John has been equally as kind.

Do I still love John? Of course. But that love has changed; it's no longer a romantic interest. He's the father of our children, and will always hold a high place in my heart. I believe that John feels the same.

So thank you. Thank you for your kind words, your offers, your love and support. We both have felt it, and I know that it's been appreciated.

1 comment:

Kim J said...

Wendy.. I'm sorry you are going thru this. Its not easy. But you are going about it the right way. Your kids need you and John to be kind to each other and NEVER say a mean or hateful word about the other one in the kids presence. If you have to vent about it, do it where they can't see it. Its hard to do this.. believe me. Especially when they get old enough to say how "wonderful life is at the other house" or "Dad lets me do this.." blah blah blah. But its definitely not the boys fault that you and John aren't married anymore, so they don't need to hear any negative. I have tried to do this with Nick and Nicks Dad and I are civil to each other and i"m friends with his step-Mom. Its not easy... but it is what it is. Love you Wendy. If you need anything or want to talk.. you know how to get ahold of me!