Thursday, February 9, 2012


i wish i could say it’s only happened once or twice, but there have actually been multiple (way more that i’d like to acknowledge) times where someone is introducing me to another person, and then says:

you know wendy! she’s the girl whose facebook status updates/blog i read to you! she’s hilarious!

and then the other person is just staring at me, like they’re just waiting for me to spew forth hilarity. on cue. like a trained seal. while i stand there blank faced, my mind silently screaming I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! I AM A HUMAN BEING! I AM A (WO)MAN!

now i’m completely self-aware of what i post on facebook, trying to really reserve that space for either something completely outstanding or somewhat important. which is probably why i can’t bring myself to update my facebook at all. it’s like finding out that you have a poppy seed wedged between your two front teeth hours after you ate lunch. everyone is looking, but no one says anything.

this is what it had to feel like to be britney back in 2007. and 2008. and parts of 2009. the pressure…it’s crushing.


Ness said...

i don't care.
you kill me.

I want to see you in a funny match with the Pioneer Woman.

Justyn said...

Do you do parties?