Monday, June 13, 2011


did anyone local happen to see this today?

basically, a letter containing an unknown white substance was sent to a DHS office in fayetteville, where a mass freak out occurred. the police were called, and 12 of the employees (the ones closest to the contaminated letter) had to do the high power scrub before being released.

and they still don’t know WHAT was actually in the envelope.

this completely brought a flashback.

my junior year of high school was life-changing. september 11th happened. hysteria over every possible threat or danger was WAY over exposed. and then some yahoos started mailing people (some famous, important…and some average joe’s) letters with anthrax in them.

it was pretty awesome.

also at this time i was in some light correspondence with some higher ups in d.c. regarding a possibility of interning as a page. you know. a PAGE. which frankly was a really cool idea to me, and a decent way to spend the summer between my junior and senior year.

one day after arriving home from work, my dad casually mentioned that i had gotten more mail from d.c. while i knew that i actually wouldn’t be participating in the internship program (because um, it was muy spendy) i still loved to pour over each letter. so i made my way to the table, slid my finger under the flap of the envelope, and pulled out the letter, opening it to read.

and then i saw the white powder. it was everywhere. it coated the inside of the letter, it spilled out from the envelope, it dusted the kitchen table. ev.ery.where.

i may or may not have thrown the letter down and said “oh my gawd.”

my mom came in from the living room at some point, and my dad asked what was wrong. all i could manage to stammer was “white powder. in letter. from d.c.” in a loop.

my parents seemed really concerned. like, really concerned.

like suspiciously overly concerned.

after expressing a little teenage angst as they rolled around laughing at my expense, i learned that they basically steamed open my mail, threw some flour in, and resealed it.

and you think i’m weird? this explains SO much, don’t you think?


Kim J said...

Hilarious! That is too funny! Good one Dale and Susan!

Ness said...

Your parents are adorable evil geniuses.