Wednesday, March 30, 2011


pregnancy the second time around goes at warp speed. maybe it’s because i’m chasing a very busy almost 23 month old around. maybe it’s because i’m working (what feels like) long hours. or maybe the earth started spinning a little faster. but i CANNOT BELIEVE that i’m almost 24 weeks pregnant with the New Kid.

mind boggling.

like the last time, i get a lot of comments on my impressive girth. what can i say? i’m awesome. in the past weeks:

a little, cute, sweet old lady asked if i was carrying twins after learning i have FOUR MORE months left. i replied, “i think actually there’s five or six in there!”

one of our doc’s told me the baby “wanted to come out”. i told him that i hoped not, because there was still 4 months left. and then he told me that his wife was MAYBE my belly size at 9 months.

random man: hey! you’re supposed to be pregnant, right?

me: i hope so, sir. if not, then this is a nasty joke.

photo (10)(me at 21 weeks)

photo (11) 

i think that you have to joke around with people some because crap, what else are you going to do? be mean? cry? storm off? yeah. not really an option. and i just repeat “i’ve only gained 6 pounds this entire pregnancy.” on loop in my brain and that can’t but help to make me feel better.

i am getting to the point where lifting jonas (and more so, carrying him around) for long periods of time sort of kills my back. he’s a dense little dude, and while 32 pounds isn’t that heavy, IT IS THAT HEAVY.

speaking of the devil, jonas is pretty sweet.

photo (12)he’s still really into everything with wheels, his DADDY!!!!, zeus (both real and plushie), trying to ride zeus, wearing shoes (like his daddy’s police boots that he put on by himself), and guitars. seriously. the kid is obsessed with guitars. and now? now he’ll play one of his guitars and bust out in song…usually a remix of twinkle, twinkle little star or one of the yo gabba gabba songs on his electric guitar.

because yes. he has both electric and acoustic guitars.

and now i’m tired and my sudsy bath is slowly just pruning me alive. adios, amigos. and non-amigos. 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

where am i?

you always hear tales of terror from experienced moms when you become pregnant about pregnancy brain and it’s ugly cousin mom brain. when i was pregnant with jonas, i talked about forgetting what paper was and similarly embarrassing things.

i was sort of hoping, that you know, i never regained any of my brain cells after having jonas that i would be spared this time around. that i’d already start out batting low on the order, but i could stand my ground and earn my spot on the field.

this new child done kicked me to the bench.

my memory, which was once so perfect and shiny and amazing, no longer exists. if i don’t literally write it down immediately, it’s gone forever. or until next tuesday when i remember that i never put the eggs in the fridge while unloading groceries.

i’ve wondered around aimlessly, trying to figure out why i’m in a certain store. and this past week? i walked into the supply closet at work confused why the toilet was gone. because doesn’t everyone go to the bathroom in the supply closet instead of IN THE BATHROOM ACROSS THE HALL?

thank goodness i realized my error before it was too late, and i’d have some ‘splaining to do.

Friday, March 11, 2011

in which i get stuck in a bathroom stall

like every other pregnant woman in the world, i have to pee about every 15-20 minutes. actually, i can pee on command (which comes in handy for doctor visits).

on thursday they had an ice cream sundae bar at work. i’m not sure if you just saw that, but there was AN ICE CREAM SUNDAE BAR WITHIN FIVE MINUTES WALKING DISTANCE.

so after lunch i hustled my way through our clinic, rode an elevator down 7 flights, and started speed walking through corridors and entry ways and waiting areas to GET TO MY ICE CREAM. however, around that 6th bend in the hall, it hit me.

mama gotta pee.

luckily, i was approaching some bathrooms in the hallway of the hospital. while i never have actually used these before, i’ve seen little old ladies wearing salmon colored jackets go in and out like worker bees, so i figured i’d be good to join the fun.

i opened the smaller than regulation size door to the bathroom, which i should have taken as a sign. the bathroom, clearly from like, 1954, was just a two-seater. i crouched down to make sure that both the stalls were empty (so i could have my pick) and opened the door.

only the door, opened as far as it would go, allowed me to scoot in just enough that HALF of my darling baby bump was being cut. like, i couldn’t get into the stall. my belly was preventing me to pee. but the pressure of the stall door was forcing me to REALLY NEED TO PEE. i finally sucked in as hard as i could, and just took the pain of scraping my growing belly across the door.

after doing my business and getting resituated, i realized that i now had to figure out how to get OUT of the bathroom stall. because, you know, the door swung INWARD. of course. after much thinking and plotting, i managed to maneuver BEHIND the actual toilet, open the door, and get out.

it was totally a fat man in a little jacket feeling.

but that ice cream sundae? totally worth it.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

dos xy

today we had the “big” ultrasound, which no matter how many you have, the chance to see that baby so ALIVE while inside of you sort of makes the world spin on its side.

it’s incredible.

the technician went through the routine measurements, pointing out what unspecified blobs were to us as i oo’d and ahh’d. she could have said there was a banjo in there, and i would have been just as agreeable. it all sort of looks the same. she showed us some defining features, like arms, the mouth, and the fluttering heart, adding more gel to the probe once again.

after she did the basics, she sent the images to the doctor, and he came in and asked the basic terrifying questions like does anyone in either side of the family have some sort of horrible chromosomal defect. and while he says not to worry, and that he asks everyone these same questions all i could think was OMG IS THERE A THIRD ARM GROWING OUT OF ITS HEAD THAT I CAN’T SEE?

he asked if we had any questions for him, and we asked if he was able to confirm the sex of the baby.

and he was.

noah james. he is perfect and beautiful.


and we cannot wait for him to be apart of our family.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

l o v e.

today at vintage robb spoke about love.

it was the sort of sermon that made me so uncomfortable because i know it’s something that i struggle with so completely.

not that i don’t have love, experience love. i do. but God’s love, the love that Jesus shared and compels us to show…it’s not easy. the love of Jesus is about intentional service and real humility.

crap. humility. serving others not because we get something out of it. stepping outside of ourselves, our wants, our needs…humility makes us vulnerable. and when you’re vulnerable? you can get hurt. uncomfortable.

a couple of weeks ago i disagreed with a facebook “friend’s” status. and the end result was that i was called dumb and i’m fairly certain deleted as a “friend”.

i get these sort of spam-ish emails that have words of wisdom…basically just quotes to get you thinking. sometimes they’re religious, sometimes they’re not. but they do get you thinking. that day? that day when i really, really, really wanted to go off on said person? this was what was waiting for me in my inbox that same morning:

“if you prayed as much as you complain and quarrel, you’d have a lot less to argue about and much more peace of mind.” – rick warren

ouch.  i was lacking love. and prayer.

it’s hard to realize something that you struggle with, something that shows your heart what it’s lacking.

i’m on a mission. it started with a small seed a few weeks ago, and today it got some extra tending. i want to show God’s love to everyone, even when i really would rather pass. i want it to be genuine, to be unrestricted, to just overflow.

Friday, March 4, 2011

we’re half way there, oooo livin’ on a prayer

so, on saturday i’ll be 20 weeks pregnant. which is sort of blowing my little mind.  it’s like i’m floating between thinking that the New Kid will live in the tum forever and the idea that the thing is FLYING BY.

i’ve been trying to take weekly pictures, but facebook is being all lame and not letting me upload ANYTHING the past couple of weeks. whatever.

here i am at 19.5 weeks. um…before i fixed my hair and makeup.

photo (7)

photo (8)

the other day my grandma asked me how far along i was, and i said 19 weeks. and she sort of gave me an OH MY GOD face and said that i’m a LOT bigger belly-wise at this point than i was with jonas.

which, i think is true.  or something. i can’t really tell.

i can’t wait until wednesday for THE ULTRASOUND to so we can confirm either way, and to get this nursery party started. woot! 

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


For as long as I can remember, anytime I experience any sort of change in altitude I desperately need to pop my ears. From airplane rides to driving through a particularly hilly region, I find myself forcefully yawning, stretching my jaws as far as part as possible until the pressure is relieved.

And it always is.

Until recently.

The past month or two, it’s been an issue. And it’s not like I’m trekking across mountains or high terrain. No, no. I’ll be just sitting there, driving my car, minding my own business when BOOM!! I can’t hear a damn thing out of my (normally) left ear. The first time it happened I thought I gone deaf. Which is just really awesome. I was able to get my ear popped within a minute or two, and thought no more of it.

Until it kept happening. Now it’s a semi-daily occurrence. And while it’s not really painful, it’s completely annoying to go completely deaf in one ear while trying to talk on the phone, speak with elderly patients, and life in general. The usual methods of swallowing hard, chewing gum, or yawning are no longer quick fixes, taking upwards to 30 minutes to work at all. I’ve spent a little (read: maybe 10 minutes on google) time researching other methods to pop these ears, and the valsalva maneuver keeps rearing it’s head.

And I’d try it. Except the idea of forcibly expelling air out of my ear canals terrifies me much like clowns and porcelain dolls do. It’s not so much the act of doing the maneuver, but the thought that comes flying to the front of my mind that I’m going to literally blow my brains out.

I’ve never claimed rationality as a strong point of mine.

So, if you see me yawning uncontrollably, just smile and nod. And speak up a little, whydontcha?