Monday, February 28, 2011

my happy place

i found my long lost happy place. i think i’d be lying if i said everything was always pansies and lollipops for me lately. in reality, it’s been like trying to navigate your way through a city you have never been to, but there’s the promise of amazing things on the other side of town.

tonight i found my map.

it happened in the kitchen while making a pizza for johnny and i. extra herbs in the dough, topped with double the meat for him, double the fresh tomato and whole gloves of garlic for me.

jonas was running in and out between the kitchen and the guest room where johnny was (and still is) working on a paper for school. between the “ready set GO!” and trying to put on his daddy’s jacket, jonas paused to listen to the music.

streaming from my phone’s pandora mumford & son’s station was jack buckley’s “hallelujah” (which is the lullaby i sing to jonas), the beatles’ “blackbird”, iz’s “somewhere over the rainbow” and so many other songs that make everything seem right.

he’d listen for a few seconds, get the rhythm going by nodding his head and soon his whole body started bouncing around as he danced, yelling “GUITAR” and making strumming motions across his belly.

and that’s when i realized that my map had fallen out of the overly stuffed glove box and i had arrived.

it feels so good to be back.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

bad attitude

this morning i woke up, and it wasn’t pleasant. i was immediately grumpy, frustrated, and hateful.

i was frustrated at my husband for having a social life. for still being in bed. for coming in later than i would have liked. for him riding his motorcycle and then having to turn back around on the way to church because it started to rain.

i was frustrated that jonas was whining. that he was throwing a tantrum because i wouldn’t let him use my hairbrush. that he had been increasingly acting out the past couple of days. that he was, you know, was acting like a toddler.

and then there’s the dog. who sheds. and was barking outside at something (a neighbor dog, maybe). and you know, acting like a dog.

i wish i could blame it on the additional rush of hormones flooding my system since the end of october. because it’d be really easy just to sweep today and my horrible attitude during the first half of it under that rug. in fact, pregnancy is a great time to make excuses for yourself. really wanting another piece of cake? blame it on the fetus. want to buy a new pair of shoes? say all of your other ones are uncomfortable. need to use the restroom, again? well, okay. that one you can blame on carrying a kid in you.

in reality, there’s nothing you can do but look at yourself really carefully. inspect the pieces and parts of you that you really would rather ignore. own up to WHO you are, and move forward.

so after finding out john had to turn back home this morning because of the rain, and realizing that jonas was passed out in the backseat, we headed back home, too. i put jonas in his bed where he cuddled with his blanket and zeusy, and went back into our room and laid in bed with my husband, snuggled up and drifting back to sleep. and when i woke up?

it was like i got to start over. and for that i’m thankful.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

oh, hai there.

i’ve been a really horrible blogger the past, oh…few months. i wish i could say that i’ve been super busy or something, but the reality is that after i get home and get jonas to bed, all i want to do is soak in the bathtub and watch old 48 hour mysteries, hair tutorials, and episodes of degrassi high.

so i’m writing this in a crappy attempt to briefly go over what’s been going on around these parts lately…

jonas:

he’s a hoot. jonas has some sweet white boy dance moves, and couple that with his obvious musical talent, and we got ourselves a show. he likes to take his harmonica, bang it on his thigh while saying “TWO FREE FOUR!” and then play like a maniac. he’s getting into pretend play, having even longer drawn out conversations with his Zeusy dog, annabelle, and meow-meow. he “vacuums” the downstairs with his ball-popper, builds with blocks, and shuffles around the house in whoever’s shoes he can find.

one of my favorite things is watching him try to ride zeus, our corgi. he’ll manage to get one chubby little leg lifted high as possible in the air only for zeus to have walked off. rinse, repeat.

the new kid:

i haven’t gained any weight thus far in the pregnancy (give or take a pound daily on the scales), so it’s looking like i’ll be at about the same place i was with jonas weight-wise. which is fine by me. i have a personal goal of only gaining 15 or so pounds, which is healthy and achievable. the doctor is pleased with me so far, so that works for me.

we had an ultrasound several weeks ago at work, and it’s looking like the new kid is actually noah james alexander. we have our official ultrasound to confirm that he’s still noah and not piper (even though through recent events we realized that ultrasounds can lie about the gender, which is the best surprise!). in the past week i’ve felt the random kick or two, and can’t wait until it’s studio 54 in there.

sleeping is just about impossible, and i still have a fun “hold my puke” moment atleast once daily. i find it so hard to complain about pregnancy though because we have been so blessed to not only have this baby coming, but to have such a healthy and easy time. i just don’t see the point in being all bitchy and moany about it when really, it could be so much worse.

etc:

spring break is coming up, which for us means that while we still have to work, we get to do the GREAT ROOM SWAP OF 2011.

the guest room downstairs needs to be cleaned out so that we can paint and then move our bedroom things down there. jonas is moving into our old bedroom, and then we have to paint the new kid’s room and begin to get it all set up.

we decided to leave our old bedroom painted the same (gray on most of the walls, a great green color on the others) and we’re actually painting our new room the same. lame, whatever. we like it. the new kid’s room is going to be gray and yellow (no matter what gender) and after the gender is finalized as much as possible, we will order the new bedding. jonas is staying in his crib for a while longer…he’s just not ready for a big boy bed, and frankly the idea of him roaming around upstairs by himself at night more than slightly terrifies me.

i hope to post pictures of the rooms when they are all finished!

until next time :)