Monday, December 27, 2010

10

on christmas day i reached the delightful ten week mark in this pregnancy. that means that we’re 25% of the way to a real baby, instead of this lime-sized sourpatch kid floating around in my belly. somewhat ironically, i happened to have lime flavored sourpatch kids floating around in my belly on christmas day. and all this talk about sourpatch kids is a lovely introduction to the topic at hand…pregnancy cravings.

i know that some will say that there’s no medical reason for pregnancy cravings, that they don’t exist, that they’re just an excuse for pregnant mama’s to gorge themselves on whatever they want without guilt.

and yeah. there’s probably some truth to that.

but it doesn’t explain the supernatural NEED that washed over me at 3:42pm this afternoon for a chili cheese burrito from taco bell. forget that i just had devoured an orange, banana, and tiny box of apple juice. i was now STARVING for the chili cheesy goodness. and all that separated me from pure bliss was the remaining 48 minutes of work, 2 elevators, and one busy highway.

so when the hands of the clock (okay. the computer. whatevs.) hit 4:32pm, i realized that i was already TWO MINUTES LATE. i dashed as quickly as possible to my car and cut across the highway and into the drive-thru of taco bell in record time.

as i pulled up i scanned the menu…and they weren’t listed. THEY WERE NOT LISTED. trying very hard not to COMPLETELY FREAK OUT,  i asked the friendly man in the box if they still carried them and GLORY BE! they do! after placing my order and pulling around, it was nothing short of a miracle that i was able to pull away from the window before tearing open the thin, yellow paper away from my precious treasure.

the third bite into my chili cheese burrito, i suddenly realized that THIS WAS A TRICK. my delicious desire of a chili cheese burrito was GONE. not only gone, but it took all of my willpower not to expel the entire contents of my stomach in the non-regulation size filmy plastic bag they had shoved this DISGUSTING, VILE, HORRID excuse of food into.

and now i sit in the bath tub, writing this. i’d like to have lied and said i was lounging in bed or on the sofa, but no. because the idea of sitting ANYWHERE else right now is like replaying that time zeus puked in john’s armpit in my head, over and over.

i shall prune and i shall shiver. and i promise i’ll not be lead into temptation by the devil with the tortilla on again.

atleast, not this week.

1 comment:

Rotten said...

Hey! It's Rach (mom 30) from Swing & Swaddle. Just wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy. So exciting. We are also expecting our 2nd in April and I have a feeling that two rug rats is going to be quite the experience. Congrats again!!