Sunday, September 12, 2010

what they don’t tell you.

jonas, because he is 16 months old and can’t effectively communicate, has been a LITTLE less than desirable to be around for long periods of time. don’t get me wrong. i love my little dude. i think he is for SURE the best part of me.

he just happens to be the best annoying part of me at this time.

and i could make excuses, like he’s tired or hungry or whatever. but to me, bad behavior is bad behavior. plain and simple. i can sympathize when he’s sleepy so he’s grumpy. and i totally get the pissy while hungry gig. BEEN THERE.

like today at sunday lunch at my grandparents’ house. he was simply a giant butt for 90% of lunch. he’d drop food on the ground, moan, roll his little head until it about popped off his shoulders, and tried to get out of his chair. i’m trying to teach him that he just simply can’t get out of his highchair because he wants to go sit somewhere else…that’s not how it’s going to work. after trying to redirect his attention, i had some success. but when it came time for dessert, he started up again. while the table was being cleared, i got him out of his highchair and we went to another room so he could calm down and talk. while i know that he doesn’t GET what i’m saying to him, i still try to explain to him in a calm but firm voice that we do XYZ because ABC. and after he was calm for a minute or two, i took him back to the table so that he could have some dessert, too.

only, he refused to sit down. like, kicked his feet and screamed. after trying a few times, i decided that it was time to go. we declined his grandpa’s offer to hold him in his lap for a few bites of cake because when we are acting poorly we don’t get rewards. and sitting in his grandpa’s lap and having cake was the reward that couldn’t be.

sometimes being a parent just isn’t fun. at all. when you’re pregnant with your first child, people somehow fail to tell you this. you sort of float through your pregnancy visualizing how nice everything is going to be, how you’re going to implement this sort of parenting style, how everything is going to be perfect.

and then you experience labor. the first sign that being a parent, moreso, a mother, is hard. and frustrating. and painful. heartbreaking.  how you’re going to find yourself trying to rationalize to a 16 month old why they can’t throw their food on the floor and always have everything they want.

and then there’s the flipside. because there’s always a flipside.

being a parent, namely a mom, is the best thing that i have ever done. my heart swells and soars for this little tyke in ways that i never, ever could have imagined. every time i’m told what a good little boy he is, i feel my heart just on the verge of exploding.

and so we’ll battle it out over chocolate cake and highchairs now. in several years it will be the same, but about curfews and girlfriends.

and i couldn’t be more genuinely excited.

No comments: