dear sign spinner for eureka pizza,
first, i want to commend you on your dedication. you have firmly planted yourself to the corner of walnut and dixieland. i can count on one hand the number of days i haven’t seen you there. and it’s been really hot this summer.
but mister sign spinner, i don’t understand why they would teach you in sign spinner orientation that it’s a good idea to get really close to the curb. or to stick your sign out in front of people driving red beetles while they are pulling up to the light. i have not attended such orientation, but i can’t imagine that’d be advised.
it seems really hazard to your well-being.
i also am not quite sure the marketing team for eureka pizza meant for your spinning sign to be used in a pelvic thrust move. i mean, we all know sex sells. and nothing screams sexy more than pizza and sweaty sign guys.
i can tell that you’re a people person by the way that you interact with the public. people are so busy these days, zooming down the road, taking phone calls, trying to get home to put their very sleepy and grumpy toddler to bed while all he does is BEG FOR A COOOOOOOOKIEEEEEEEE, MAMA. COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIEEEEEEEEEE.
but you? you like to interact. even if that means mouthing “hey girl” and doing a “sexy” wave while sporting your mirrored sunglasses and puka shell necklace. to the woman in the red beetle. with a very sleepy and grumpy (AND VISIBLE) toddler in the backseat who just wants a COOOOOOOOOOOOOKIEEEEEEE.
maybe you should try the mini-van driving soccer mom in the next lane. she seems more receptive.