so to be honest, i’ve started several different times this past week to write something that’s going on in our life. and i’ve come up with zilch. zip. nada. cero.
i mean, yeah…we practically are BFF’s with the Jamie Foxx. but when i try to think of entertaining things that we’ve done, i’m drawing a blank. so instead, you’re getting bits and pieces, one-breath style.
jonas has been a pill lately. like, he’s been all clingy and MAMA and stuff. which is so sweet and nice and cute except when we’re trying to have lunch at my mom’s school and he wont eat, wont drink out of the sippy cup i’ve provided because it’s NOT THE RIGHT ONE, and WILL NOT LET ME PUT HIM DOWN. so instead i got to stand up while trying to eat a turkey dinner in a teacher’s lounge while my usually awesome baby was all I HATE MY LIFE.
and then my mom put my leftover, basically full 20oz coke bottle in my diaper bag so i could enjoy it later. except that about 3/4s down the hall at her school i realized that the seal SUCKS on coke bottles and now i’m looking at roughly 1oz of coke in a bottle and 17oz of coke in my diaper bag, on my shoe, on my leg, and making a nice trail that only hansel and gretel would envy down the hall.
so then later that day my parents take jonas and i out to eat for dinner, and jonas is all I HATE MY LIFE and so we eat in shifts.
later, while it’s just baby j and i in the car going home, he’s all snore snore snore BARF. and do i mean barf. that kid puked HOT PINK vomit from his head to the floor boards. and he was all limp and still asleep but awake and really confused. i clean him up, put him to bed, clean the car, and check on him. to find him BURNING UP. like 102.1 degrees from the good ole’ butt thermometer burning up. and oh yeah, he’s puked HOT PINK again. so tylenol, a call to the doc, and madly googling causes of HOT PINK vomit for LITERALLY 3 hours only to realize that it’s because AHH. I FED HIM RED JELLO EARLIER TODAY and my child is NOT BLEEDING INTERNALLY i go to bed. because that’s all that i can really do, right?
and that was just friday. saturday was low-key and such, as was sunday. today i was all mopey and I MISS MY HUSBAND BOOHOO so i didn’t change out my pajamas (black leggings and tank) and put on one of johnny’s shirts that still smell like him. so i was being hugged all day by him (or something equally lame that sounded all meaningful when i said it in my head but when i actually think of it sounds a little more than weird. and yes, i talk to myself both silently and aloud. whatevs.).
right about now you’re wishing that you hadn’t even opened your browser today, and yet at the same time thinking, “well, she could be danielle from real housewives of new jersey”.
and to that all i can say is,
“PAY ATTENTION, PUH-LEEZE!”