Monday, May 3, 2010

gaga for the telephone

i won't be sporting a unitard while wearing a mask and holding an umbrella while trying to dance to Lady Gaga's hit. so right now you're either completely disappointed OR over the moon. whatevs.

i'd be completely lying if i said i didn't wait by the phone ALL DAY ON SUNDAY, just waiting for my promised sunday phone call with john. while i know that he had called for (literally) 5 minutes the night before, sundays are the day of "niceness" in the army during basic. or something like that. while i imagine them having a leisurely day of brunching and naps, i'm sure it just means that you do 100 push-ups instead of 150.

but i didn't get my call on sunday.
which in turn completely crushed me.

like, i had waited the whole afternoon for this call.

i put off doing other things that i NEEDED to do (like clean my kitchen/pick-up the house for my grandparents who are THERE RIGHT NOW with my baby installing a new tile countertops).
i forgot my laundry in the washing machine. which meant that THIS MORNING i was all like, ew. mildewy yuck. which meant i had to RE-WASH the laundry because EVERY SET OF SCRUBS i own was in it. which of course meant that my dryer (circa 1912) didn't fully dry my clothes. for work. which meant i was standing there in my underwear near the dryer checking every 2 minutes. and then had to make the last minute decision that OH CRAP I CAN'T GO TO WORK IN MY UNDERWEAR so i better put on a dress. but the dress i put on i wore on sunday BUT then i remembered i had also worn it on FRIDAY when i went up to WORK to drop off some things. SO! i had to CHANGE clothes while my baby was all like, MOM! YO! I'M HERE! BARKING AT THE DOG I CAN'T SEE! RUFF! so i threw on some clothes that DON'T MATCH, grabbed my REALLY HEAVY BABY, make-up bag, comb, lunch and rushed out the door.

where i then ran into MORE TRAFFIC THAN I HAVE EVER SEEN and was only 12 minutes late to work.

my house is a disaster, my grandma and grandpa are there with my kid, I'M NOT SURE WHERE TO GO AFTER WORK (do i go to my house? or do i go to my grandparents? WHERE IN THE WORLD IS JONAS ALEXANDER?).

but atleast my grandma said she'd re-start the dryer for me so i wouldn't perform a death spiral again tomorrow.

i'm blaming the army for all of this. AND IF I EVER FIND OUT WHO SCREWED UP SO THAT JOHN COULDN'T CALL...well, let's just say that you're better off in a warzone.

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