Monday, April 19, 2010

I’d like a side of waffle fries with that.

While driving home from work today I found myself behind one of those chicken trucks. You may be unfamiliar with them, but growing up in the Chicken Capital of the World, one becomes quite accustomed with the site of semis built of crates, carrying literally hundreds to thousands of live chickens. And their destination?

The KILL plant. And if that doesn’t scream “Lifetime Movie of the Week” then I don’t know what does.

So I’m driving DIRECTLY behind the midnight train to Georgia, and all I can think of is:
"Wow. This must be what the Jews felt like during the Holocaust”.

Because they’re all stacked up on each other? And heading to their death? And look really uncomfortable? And some have already died during their travel?

I promise you I’m not anti-Semitic. Because I LOVE Jerry Seinfeld. NO SOUP FOR YOU.

Back to the Jewish Chicken.

So I’m sitting there in my car, dodging feathers and literal chicken shit and thinking about the Jews during the Holocaust. And in that same line of thought, I thought about the ovens that Hitler’s henchmen used as mass murdering tools. Which of course led me to think about Chik-fil-a (aka Chicken for Christians). And then back to the Jewish Chickens. And their shit.

I then found myself not only hungry for waffle fries but awkwardly laughing. You know, in that way where you know you really, really shouldn’t find it funny, but it’s so AWFUL that all you can think about is how you shouldn’t laugh? And then you find yourself laughing in the middle of a funeral for a clown like that one episode of Mary Tyler Moore?

At this point, I think it’s important that I stress again that I’m not anti-Semitic. I LOVE Stephen Spielberg. OOO ROAR Jurassic PARK!

(Did anyone just catch that I linked to Jewish wonders in entertainment with Newman? Damn. I’m good.)

  I’m not even really sure why I felt the need to mention this in any sort of public forum, unless it was for the necessity to stress that I’m that person whose MIND WILL GO THERE and laugh awkwardly while rocking back and forth.

It’s awesome being an only child.

1 comment:

ness said...

My children informed me that the dogs did not get along this morning. That they in fact, growled at one another and got a little ugly. Vin suggested that perhaps Sid had developed some racism for her black friend Peggy.

It was both uncomfortable and humorous.