Friday, October 30, 2009


last night i had a nightmare.

i was playing with jonas, and he stuck one of my fingers into his mouth. but instead of feeling the 3 sharp baby teeth (THREE. TEETH. IN MY CHILD'S HEAD. ALMOST FOUR. OMG.) that should be there, i felt many, many teeth. like, 12.

i had never realized they had come in, i felt like this horrible mother who doesn't notice that her child went from THREE to TWELVE teeth seemingly overnight. and hadn't even BRUSHED them yet.

it was scary. i'm not sure why it was so nerve-wrecking, but i woke up with a start, breathing hard.

freakin' teeth.

bite your head off.

i think that my boys have some sort of weird fascination with biting the ones they love head's. or something. it's probably genetic, just like the way they both make the exact same face when they open their mouths SUPER wide.

Monday, October 26, 2009


it was determinded this weekend that jonas is going to be a lumberjack when he grows up.

this is a photo of jonas watching his daddy carrying an axe.

and this is a photo of jonas watching his daddy chop wood with said axe.

jonas would watch john walk around with the axe, and the second john started hacking at an old log, jonas starting cracking up. and each time that the axe came down, the laughter got louder and louder.

so yes, jonas is going to be a lumberjack when he grows up. or an axe murderer. but hopefully the former.

i wanna be in the show, ricky.

we spent this weekend with our amazing friends at the lake in checotah, oklahoma. and being that we spent three days there, sooner or later i was going to need to take a shower.

so saturday morning, tired of smelling like baby goo and smoke, i decided that all i needed was a long, hot shower to make the world okay again. so i enter the bathroom, undress, and then realize i have no freaking idea how to work this shower.

not a problem. i'm an intelligent person. i've got this.

i finally figure out that you have to turn the water on first, then pull really hard on this little tab-like thing...and then the actual shower part works. only, it's not a gentle cascade of water, it's a full-blown firehose stream of water shooting at your head.

again, not a problem. i'm an intelligent person. i've got this.

so, while naked in the shower, water coming at my face 90 mph, i put my hand on the showerhead to try to adjust the water. only the options are apparently 90 mph directly at your head, 85 mph and on the ceiling, or 110 mph and taking out the left side of your body.

only, it took me about 6 attempts to finally figure out that there was no gentle cascade. and then i realized that this whole time, there was a 6 inch section of curtain that WAS NOT CLOSED. so after selecting the best choice (90 mph and directly at your head) and fully blasting any dirt particles off of me, i exited the shower to find that one entire side of the bathroom was completely soaked.

it was then that i realized what lucy must have felt like everyday. and i could have really used ethel to help clean that mess up.

Saturday, October 24, 2009


we're at the lake this weekend with our dearest, closest friends. it feels so good to be around them again. these are the people we consider aunts and uncles to our child, these are the people that we love.

it's just so easy.

isn't great to have those people? the ones who always have your back, never create drama in your life, people you can trust with your deepest thoughts without fear of being analyzed or criticsized.

I've just started stepping into some new relationships with others, who are people like this. Candice, for example, is someone i can feel comfort and love towards because she strives to be this incredibly beautiful soul. she's geniuine, lovely, and drama free. she gives her all with no expectationof a return, and listens to you without trying to fix you.

she is my sort of people.

it makes life so much nicer when you cut the fat, the superficial, the hurtful. by starting that process, I've learned so much.

sigh. my people.

Monday, October 19, 2009

isaiah fifty-three

Who would have believed what we heard? Who saw the Lord’s power in this?

He grew up like a small plant before the Lord, like a root growing in a dry land. He had no special beauty or form to make us notice him; there was nothing in his appearance to make us desire him. He was hated and rejected by people. He had much pain and suffering. People would not even look at him. He was hated, and we didn’t even notice him.

But he took our suffering on him and felt our pain for us. We saw his suffering and thought God was punishing him.

But he was wounded for the wrong we did; he was crushed for the evil we did. The punishment, which made us well, was given to him, and we are healed because of his wounds. We all have wandered away like sheep; each of us has gone his own way. But the Lord has put on him the punishment for all the evil we have done.

He was beaten down and punished, but he didn’t say a word. He was like a lamb being led to be killed. He was quiet, as a sheep is quiet while its wool is being cut; he never opened his mouth. Men took him away roughly and unfairly. He died without children to continue his family. He was put to death; he was punished for the sins of my people.
He was buried with wicked men, and he died with the rich.
He had done nothing wrong, and he had never lied.

But it was the Lord who decided to crush him and make him suffer.The Lord made his life a penalty offering, but he will still see his descendants and live a long life. He will complete the things the Lord wants him to do. “After his soul suffers many things, he will see life and be satisfied. My good servant will make many people right with God; he will carry away their sins. For this reason I will make him a great man among people,and he will share in all things with those who are strong.

He willingly gave his life and was treated like a criminal. But he carried away the sins of many people and asked forgiveness for those who sinned.”


1. the women's group for my church is starting back up for the fall. it's called "the monthly visit". which makes me love my church even more.

2. i'm proposing that a men's group should start, meet on saturday mornings, and be called "the morning risers".

3. i've been basically terrified to blog about anything because i don't want to offend anyone. i was told that in a personal blog, you should take into consideration the feelings of your readers. and then i thought about everything that was now off limits, because someone could possibly read it and get pissed off.

4. i've decided to say, SCREW YOU. if you take into consideration what everyone else may possibly feel/think, then you're going to be stuck writing about absolute crap (not that what i write isn't crap). because parenting, religion, politics, food (damn vegans ruin everything), beverages and dancing (freaking baptists), movies/photography (amish troublemakers) and just about everything else can PISS PEOPLE OFF.

5. if you took offense to that, well, you probably should have.

6. :)

7. i really am a nice person.

8. jonas is getting ready to bust out tooth number 2. YAY!

9. how 'bout them hogs? seriously. being a hog fan is just about as emotional, heart attack inducing, and exhausting thing on earth.

10. i love hot cocoa.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


after my brief life as a mute on wednesday, i woke up on friday feeling like a frieght train had run over me, backed up, and then did it again. i was oozing out of various orifices, coughing, holding my head as to keep my brain from leaving due to its throbbing pain.

i got the kiddo ready to go, and went off to work. and then i was promptly told to call a doctor, for i was sick.

i luckily just had the flu, but the doc told me that jonas needed to be as far away as possible until i was feeling better since he's still so young. so he had a rousing weekend at his grammy and gramps house. i ended up crashing there saturday night because my mom didn't want me to be alone while i was sick and john was at work.

i woke up sunday feeling like a new person. i think it helped that i slept all of friday and saturday, waking up for 30 minutes here and there.

and what did i find on sunday? one congested baby who was sporting a newly sprouted (and FREAKING RAZOR SHARP) toofer. i've never been happier that i weaned him when i did.

i then died a thousand deaths because he's getting so old.

ugh. motherhood.

Thursday, October 8, 2009



five. that's how many months you are. last week while at work, a patient asked me how old you were. i said only five weeks. and then i hit myself over the head because lawsie, you are so past five weeks it's not even funny.

you recently passed the 20 week mark. the last time you were 20 weeks, you looked like this:

and now, just past 20 weeks, who would have thought you'd look like this?

you're getting so very big. you can still wear some size one shoes, and for sure some size two. you're sittin' pretty in your size two diapers. you are officially an eating champ, and i plan on entering you in next years hot dog eat contest. you LOVE bananas and sweet potatoes, do well with avacado, pears, carrots, and mango, and give me the stink eye when i cheerfully show you the wonders of green beans. you only drink from a bottle now, and you FREAK OUT when there's any sort of bottle shape around you. because YOU NEEDED IT TEN MINUTES AGO, HELLO, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

you're a master creeper. wait, that came out wrong. you're a master at creeping. you can get yourself across a room in several minutes. which is honestly pretty impressive, if i do say so myself.

you've fallen head over heels with puppies, and no puppy is safe from your iron grasp. zeusy is trying to be tolerant, but seriously, he hates having to sit and let you squeal the highest pitch squeal this side of the mississippi while you LEAP for him.

your great grandparents are getting you a guitar for christmas, because you go nuts when you see one on tv. sadly, this means that you'll inherit MY musical talent (for i was the same way when i was just a babe...only with elvis). and my friend, i seemed to have missed the musical gene.

i'm really glad that we socialized you with others since day one. i like to think that it's help you adapt to being held by others, knowing that it's safe. i am dreading the whole "seperation anxiety" stage that's supposed to happen in the next few months, because you're heavy thankyouverymuch,sweetpotatoes and it's incredibly nice that you have lady friends at church who whisk up out of my arms the second we cross the threshold.

i always said that i'd be the mom who wouldn't think that their child was the center of the universe. and i have failed miserably. while you certainly have your flaws, my lord, you are cute. incredibly cute. and your hair? it makes me laugh. and your eyes? they make my heart melt. and your smile? that gummy, drooly smile? well, that just kills me.

jonas, i know that i say this every time, but we love you so much. you have changed our lives so much in such a short amount of time. sometimes there's frustration, other times there are tears. but underneath all of that is love, love, love.


Wednesday, October 7, 2009


it seems that during the night, ursula (that salty wench) stole my voice.

and now i sound like this:

sigh. such is my life.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

two-headed beast.

have you ever had a dream that was so vivid that when you weren't quite sure what was reality?

yeah, me too.

so a few nights ago, i was laying in bed with jonas, just playing and having fun. i decided to check my email via my iPhone, and saw that our preacherman had sent me an email titled "twins".

perplexed, i opened it, only to see TWO jonas's. picture after picture of TWO babies who looked like jonas, in coordinating outfits, flooded the screen on my phone. and slowly, i began to remember having a SECOND baby, jonas's twin. and for a while i couldn't remember his name, but it later came to me (ezekiel james) and then the memories of THIS child spewed into my mind.

but i was so wrapped up in jonas that i had completely neglected this other baby. a baby that had done nothing wrong, that looked just like the child i had in my arms. john then came into the room, i told him i just realized that we had twin boys, and he said that it rang a bell. so he grabbed jonas, went to the nursery, and got ezekiel, and we snuggled with him. because apparently we can only show love to one baby at a time?

when i woke up, i was shaken. and i was a little unsure about the whole situation. i mean, i didn't remember having a second baby (but clearly, i had also forgotten about him in my dream-reality).

so i might have spent a few minutes checking the house, just to make sure that there wasn't some poor baby ezekiel fending for himself while jonas got all of the love.

i clearly haven't slept lately.

Monday, October 5, 2009


thanks to heather for the tag!

seven things about me that most people don't know.

1. i am terrified of bugs, especially spiders. and yes, i know that spiders aren't bugs. get over it. which in itself isn't weird. i just can't kill them. and instead of killing them, i've been known to use a can of hairspray in attempt to freeze them in time. or something.

2. if i read it, i will remember it. if i see or hear a number, code, or something like that, i will remember it. if i had a class with you EVER, i will remember where you sat. i'm creepy. i know.

3. i cannot stand the sensation of tape getting stuck on my fingers. christmas time is like a tiptoe-ing through a minefield.

4. i love serial killers and cults. the more i can know about them, the happier i get. i'm creepy, i know.

5. i cannot cook from a recipe to save my life. but i do pretty well just winging it.

6. i met my husband while we both were working at the overly expense store, express. i knew instantly that he was the boy of my dreams. however, i think the only real conversations we had were about tattoos and the time i thought he was trying to do tricep pushups. he wasn't.

7. i sleep best with the tv and/or the lights on. i think it's because the dark scares me.

and i'm totally breaking the rules, but i don't feel like tagging anyone! so if you want to do it, knock yourself out :) and if not, that's cool too!

Friday, October 2, 2009


i've mentioned a few times before here, but i wish that people showed more gratitude to police officers.

can you tell i'm married to a cop?

simply put, the average person thinks crappy thoughts about police officers. they "hate the cops" because they got a ticket. they smart off to them. they flip them off. they call them pigs.

and the truth?

cops are underpaid. they work LONG hours. with little to no gratitude. they work crap hours. they miss holidays. they miss birthdays. they miss simple things like sleeping in the same bed as their spouse, eating meals with their family, and being able to worship their God at church.

last night, there was a shooting in our small city. our friend, one of john's very good friends, was shot at. it's an absolute miracle that neither of the officers involved were harmed in any way.

and the bad guy? he's dead.

so the next time you get pissed about that speeding ticket you got, think about that officer. think about his family. his wife. his kids. and think about the sacrifice that they are willing to make every. single. day. to protect YOU.

and after you think of that, turn to them, and say "thank you".