Tuesday, September 29, 2009

the power of poo

my child has never been shy about poop.

good morning to you, too.

i used to hear all the time about the "poop face". you know, the red cheeked, strained neck, little grunts that you'd witness when your child was needing to, well, poop.

and yet, jonas...not so much. i'm serious. he'll pass some incredible gas, look over his shoulder, look at me, and then giggle. which is more proof than any DNA test could provide that yes, he's john's child.

but the poop. the terrific poop. it's just getting out of hand.

you all probably remember "the great poop incident" that occurred earlier this year, where we were trapped in the backseat of a beetle, and barely made it out alive. it may have been recently surpassed by what is known simply as "exersaucer of doom".

on sunday afternoon, jonas was minding his own business, bouncing in his exersaucer with great glee. because he had just had lunch (sweet potatoes...yum!) he was only wearing a diaper and a great, toothless grin.

after a few minutes, however, my nose began to twitch. something, my friends, was not smelling so cute. looking at the only culprit in the room, i quickly realized that he had pooped. a lot.

he had pooped so much, in fact, that after retrieving him from the exersaucer (of doom) he had poop not only in his diaper, on his chest, up to his neck on his back, but also all the way to the bottom of his chubby little feet. he was a virtual pooey monster.

after gagging a few times (on both of our parts), he was cleansed, and the poopy exersaucer of doom was set aside.

oh, the horrors!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

our lullabye

jonas and i have a little routine...when he's really upset or struggling to go to sleep, i sing two different songs, back to back.



and



love.

rahh.

that is what i sound like today. RAHH. just imagine it as a fire-breathing dinosaur. why, might you ask am i this close to devouring a city of peasants?

this is why.


oh sure. he may look all cute and cuddly.


but it's all an evil ploy.


you see, he lures you in with these squishable cheeks, those big, big eyes, and that sweet little hair-do.


but then he is awake all night because his toofers are hurting him, squeels at an unbelieveable pitch, and then poops. out. of. his. diaper. up. to. his. neck...twice.


blegh. how can you be mad at that?

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i added ads on the blog for sort of experimental reasons. trust me, i still loathe ads on blogs.

bear with me. google reader me if you need to :)

Monday, September 21, 2009

i spy with my little eye...

several weeks ago, jonas was with me at the office, waiting for his great grandparents to pick him up. one of my co-workers looked at him and said "he looks just like a little gnome!!"

and so it hit me...that's what jonas was going to be be for halloween. just watch this, and replace the name david with jonas.



i've already made his little red gnome hat (with big white beard!), his brown belt, and am going to dye a long-sleeve onesie blue.

cuteness overload, for sure!

Friday, September 18, 2009

inadequate

i've briefly mentioned before my struggles with breastmilk production. i've never had an awesome supply, no matter what i did. i'd hear other moms complaining about their supply, about how they could only pump so many ounces in one sitting.

and i'd sit there, blank faced, just wishing that i was able to produce what they were.

as a new mom, you have times of feeling inadequate. and feeling that you are not able to provide the most basic of things, like breastmilk, to your child is absolutely crushing.

lately, it's only gotten worse. yes, he will eat "straight from the source" easily, but you can't gauge how much he eats. and pumping...i've begun to fear having to pump because it's just a slap in the face when you try so hard and get so little.

earlier this week (hell, all of the time) i got asked if i was breastfeeding by basically a stranger. when i replied that i was, i got amazing praise. i wonder what her reaction would have been if i had said no?

our once skinny little guy is for sure rapidly getting chubby, however. he's taken to eating like a big boy with great vigor. the other night, i sort of had a manic "must make baby food supply that will last forever" moment. and i stood there, crying over sweet potatoes, asking john to watch jonas for me so i could work. john did so with no issue, but asked me why i just didn't do it another day, another time.

i couldn't explain it, but i think it has to do with my ability to make breastmilk. i felt that if i was unable to provide that for him, i was going to be positive that i was able to provide nourishment for him SOMEHOW. and making all of this baby food (and people, there's a lot in there. sweet potatoes, pears, mangoes, bananas, avocados...) some how made me feel validated. made me feel like i wasn't inadequate afterall.

i think that i will still try to pump. i know that i will still nurse jonas whenever i can. i still want to feel that tummy to tummy contact, that warmth, that closeness that comes while we snuggle as he eats.

and i'm trying hard to be okay with bottles of formula being his mainstay.

Monday, September 14, 2009

growing up is hard to do

inspired by silvy, i've started loosely thinking about jonas's first birthday party.

i know. he's only four months old. but do you know the competition he's going to have to have a party? his birthday will be on a saturday, but we already know TWO other babies who are born the day before jonas was, and frankly, i'm afraid we will have to offer some pretty sweet gift bags to sway people to come to jonas's party. you know, sort of like the celebrity grab bags?

anyway, i am pretty sure that i'm wanting to do a...you guessed it, MONSTER theme. i mean, he IS our little monster. and he's just so stinking cute.

i think that i can make this cake for everyone, and a smaller "smash" cake for him to go nuts with.



anyway, i think i'm going to start collecting "ideas" for the future birthday blowout (hopefully not pooey) 2010!

Friday, September 11, 2009

eight.

early that morning, our junior class had attended the college fair. row after row of college representatives from the surrounding area passed out free pens and t-shirts, trying to get new "recruits".

and so we went, table to table, and gathered all of the free stuff. i mean, i had no intention of attending the college of the ozarks, but hey, a free pencil sharpener never hurt anyone.

after our goodie bags were filled with loot, we all began to part ways, going to our next class. my boyfriend and i walked, hand in hand, plastic bags swaying with each step. he dropped me off at my class, stealing a quick, innocent kiss. and i walked inside, closing the door behind me.

i sat at my computer in my graphic design class, the only girl in the room. it was an ordinary day, creating pretend ads for a class project. one of the boys looked down at his hidden cell phone, and then quickly stood up, walking across the classroom. as he turned on the tv, he interrupted our teacher's reprimand by saying, "we have to watch."

and that's when we saw it.

one of the world trade center towers in NYC had been crashed into by a plane. how tragic! it was obvious that the plane could have no survivors. we commented back and forth of how strange it was that a plane would fly into one of the buildings--there must have been some sort of freak technical accident. the pilot must have had a heart attack. something like that.

while we looked at the screen, we watched the plane hit the tower. but this re-play looked different than the other ones. and then we realized that it was a second plane. hitting the other tower. and that this was no accident at all.

we watched in silence. we watched as the plumes of smoke stretched across the sky. we watched flames licking the sides of the buildings. and then we watched as each tower crumpled.

it was then that i realized we had all lost our innocence.

the rest of the day was a blur. we went to class after class, lugging around our now oddly heavy bags of college paraphernalia through the halls, with looks of worry and tears on our cheeks. by this time, we had all heard about the third plane hitting the pentagon.

the size of the classes got smaller and smaller through out the day, parents uncertain of what else would come. in some classes we sat and watched the tv in eerie quiet. in others, the tv was muted, and we talked about our feelings of confusion, despair, mourning.

it was then that i realized our lives would never be the same.

eight. eight years have passed since that time. you can ask any american, and they can tell you exactly where they were at, what they were doing, who they were with when they heard about the attacks.

i looked at jonas this morning, smooshed banana smeared across his cheeks, hands, and left eyebrow. and i thought about how different his childhood would be compared to mine. the extra security measures, the terror alerts, the fear.

eight. only eight years.

it seems like yesterday.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

four months

jonas,

today you are four months old. and you are absolutely fabulous.

i mean it. your personality is coming through more and more each day, and you're very much the chuckler. you crack yourself up looking in the mirror, playing with your (borrowed) exersaucer, playing with your toys. you love to play "rocket ship" with your daddy. and you love doing things by yourself.

i don't know WHERE you got THAT stubborn streak.

nope, not a clue.

anyway, you are all about doing things yourself. like getting on your hands and knees. like grabbing the spoon away and putting it in your mouth. and so very much more.

like i've said earlier, we've been practicing sitting up. and i really think you're doing awesome! you can hold your own for a while before you topple, and i always catch you. well. almost always. there was that one time last sunday where you were sitting up for SO LONG and i started to praise you really heavily. you puffed your chest up with pride, slide a big smile across your face, and sat straight up! with perfect posture! all the way until you lost balance and went like a plank of wood straight back onto the blanket.

trying to use my best "oh yeah!! you fell down! and it's okay! seriously!!" voice that works pretty well with toddlers was quickly lost on you. you have some sort of delayed reaction when you are startled, because it was a full 10 seconds before this huge pouty lip stuck out, your eyes disappeared, and you started to cry (without making any noise).

drama queen.

and i don't know WHERE you got that trait either.

probably your father.

anyway, jonas, i wanted to let you know that you constantly amaze us. you're this fantastic little person...and we cannot wait to see who you become. because so far, my little monster, it's been an incredible journey.

love,
mommy

Sunday, September 6, 2009

the monster eats.

at our 4 month well baby check, jonas was given the green light to start "solids". while i know that there's a lot of debate on when is best, we decided that the kid is hungry. and frankly, looking at his stats, he can gain a pound or two (at 4 months, 25 3/4 inches tall, 12lbs 11oz, and 15.5 head circumfrence).

so we prepared the first meal, realizing that he'd probably hate it forever, gnashing his gums, throwing rice cereal across the room, blinding me in the process. but it had to be done. the monster was hungry.


the first meal.


not so bad...


paci-break.


please sir, can i have some more?

and you know a meal goes well when you have to get a bath afterwards...



all in all, he did AMAZING. the spoon was no issue at all. actually, his biggest complaint is that i only give him a little bit during one "meal" as his tummy adjusts to all of the new things.

Friday, September 4, 2009

they say it's your birthday...

raise your hand if it's your daddy's birthday.



happy 25th birthday, johnny!

25? really? you're old. and smell like aspercreme and early bird buffets. i'm so glad that i'm so much younger than you.