Monday, August 24, 2009

wet.

i work in a prosthodontics office...which is a VERY specialized form of dentistry. we specialize in prosthesis, restoration, tmj, and dental implants.

that said, the average age of our patients is around, oh, 65-70 years old.

when being a new mama, dealing with people of that age day in and day out, well, it can be trying. i get double the parenting advice i would normally receive in other lines of work (not to mention the amount of "advice" i got while pregnant).

last week, one of my absolute favorite patients asked me who watched jonas while i was at work. it's not an uncommon question, so i thought nothing of it. i let her know that during the work week, i take one day off, john watches him 1-2 days, and my grandma watches him the remaining days. and then she said it.

"oh, that's nice. but aren't you afraid he wont know who you are?"

and then she gathered her things and left.

and then i went to the bathroom and cried. and cried. and when i didn't think i could cry anymore, i went back to work. my cheeks still wet with tears. it wasn't until tonight that i told john what she had said and how badly it had wounded me.

he reassured me to not listen to her, that i spend more time with jonas than anyone else. that jonas loves me. that jonas knows me.

of course i knew this already. i really did. it's just crazy to think about how focused you can be, thinking you are doing the best job possible at being a mom and how one remark can make you question everything.

i'm proud that i work full-time (well, 32 hours a week). i'm proud that i make pretty decent money. i'm proud that i work hard.

i'm not super mom by any means. but i try my best every day...and that's all i can hope for.

2 comments:

Silvy said...

*love to you!*

Nelda said...

You don't have to be supermom...none of us ever are. You just have to do what you are doing...the best that you can. And I think you are doing a great job. Just look at how healthy and happy he is...

The most important thing you can do for Jonas is love his daddy which you very much do.

I'm very honored to call you my "daughter-in-love."