Wednesday, July 15, 2009


on sunday afternoon, we loaded up in the beetle (aka the smallest vehicle on earth) to visit john's parents in russellville in their new house.

first things first, you never realize how small a car is until there's a carseat jammed into the back seat. and it quickly gets smaller when you add in a diaper bag, baby's clothes bag, baby papasan, breast pump bag, and a bag with clothes and tolietries for two adults.

the entire time in the car all i could think of was the chris farley skit "big man in a little jacket". i was afraid that the car would simply rip at its seams due to everything that was jammed into it. luckily, we made it to and fro in one piece.

we had the famous quesadillas, and all i can say is that i'd kill for the recipe, but it's considered an ancient chinese recipe. one day...ONE DAY! anyway, after wolfing down three of those puppies in a 10 minute period, john was struck with the evil that is heartburn. at first i laughed at his pain because really, i gave birth to a child. and heartburn is NOTHING compared to child birth. but then i remembered this and felt bad for him, just a little.

by monday morning the fire in his chest was out, only to be replaced with a blocked upstairs toliet beginning to flood the bathroom and the dining room located directly beneath it. buckets were thrown about to catch the streaming water from the light fixture because HOLY CRAP IT WAS RAINING FROM THE CEILING. john's dad was immediately beckoned from work to come back home and save the house.

after several hours in the basement working on unblocking the pipes, and mighty GUSH of water followed by unintelligible yelling echoed throughout the house. being the inquisitive people we are, whitney and i (sidenote, the alexander children didn't get real creative when it came to picking out spouses with different names...john married me, whitney is marrying jonathon. BRANCH OUT, people.) ventured down to the basement to find the basement floor, along with ron and john, splattered with poo water. lots of poo water. enough to fill the kiddie pool john bought two summers ago. they were almost as literally as possible shat upon.

and if that doesn't make you crack a smile, then you must be made of ice. it's poo water, people. that's classic comedy gold.


DeMo said...

I cracked a smile.

ness said...

not me. Poo water is serious, girl. Anything that gets poo water on it is ruined. Chuck the house. It's got poo on it. Ruined, I tell ya. 'Cause how are you ever really gonna get that clean? You'll think you did, but no, it will still have a little bit of poo on it somewhere.

The only exception to this, of course, is baby poo. Because it's baby poo, it's a little bit cute and not nearly as powerful.

And while I'm at it..

which apparently, I really am....

the name thing:
My brother is Ron, my dad is Ron. My brother Ron got married the first time and his father in law was Ron. Then my sister got married to a guy named Ron. Who's dad's name is Ron. Then my youngest sister Ashley got married to John. And then my brother Ron, got remarried to a girl named Ashley.

I'm so original. My husband's name is ROBB.