john's eye is okay. which, sure...it's great that his eye will be back to normal soon. but i can't help but feel let down that he wont have to wear an eyepatch or walk with a cane or, you know, anything cool. think about the handicap parking spots we're missing out on. i love handicap parking. and...and i could use handicap bathroom stalls without feeling guilty because DON'T YOU SEE THAT MY HUSBAND IS DISABLED!? EYE PATCH, PEOPLE. it's called entitlement.
i went to sam's yesterday. did you know how much i love to buy in bulk?
well, i do. there's nothing quite more fulfilling in my eyes than saving a quarter because i bought my mayo in a 4 gallon tub.
the problem with sam's is that there's a lot of gourmet items. and for some reason while i'm shopping, i completely forget that HEY! I CAN'T COOK! but look, 4 gallons of mayo are on sale!
so i usually end up purchasing things that i try to cook, end up ruining, and resort to opening up a can of spaghetti-o's. and john couldn't be happier because he freaking loves spaghetti-o's like i love peeing in handicap bathroom stalls.
it's a guilty pleasure.
i have convinced myself that when jonas cries his most pathetic of cries that he's saying "mama". of course this isn't the case. you know that if it was, i'd be hocking my baby on the today show, showing matt lauer what he could do next. move over, michelle duggar. your claim to fame is shooting your kids out like the log ride at branson.