Friday, June 19, 2009

six weeks...

jonas,

today, you are six weeks old. how is that even possible? you're so much fun right now...and this past week you started to geniunely smile and chuckle when prompted. and we love it.

the first week back at work has proved itself to be frustrating, rewarding, exhausting, and interesting. my new schedule is basically monday thru wednesday, off thursdays, and back to work on fridays. that way i'm only without seeing you all day three days at a time.

i'd be lying if i told you that i didn't cry the first two days as i pulled away from you. and that i'd never driven faster off work to go to anyone in my life. truth be told, i miss you so much that my heart aches, and you're the only thing on my mind (well, besides lunch).

pumping at work has proved to be interesting, seeing that i have to stand up in the employee bathroom, propped up against the wall. i may or may not make mental bets on which boob will produce the most milk the fastest. and by saying may or may not, i mean that i totally do.

last night was a frustrating one. i had fed you, you were happy, smiley, cooing--so i handed you off to daddy so i could catch a quick shower. once in the shower, i could hear you crying. and crying. and crying. i could hear daddy pacing around, trying everything in the world to get you to stop. after i got out of the shower, daddy handed you to me...and you stopped crying. and daddy's feelings were obviously hurt. i told him you only stopped because i'm the food-maker, and that i think my scent calms you down.

we started thinking about it..and realized that when it's just you and i, you eat every 2-4 hours. but when someone else is around, you will eat so. much. more. i think that maybe you eat more because the milk has my scent/hormones and reminds you of me, maybe? so last night i slept on two of your blankets, and brought them to grammy's house this morning. we're going to try and see if whenever you gets fussy after just an hour after a full feeding if maybe laying you on the mama-scented blanket will soothe you. at home, i think we're just going to buy some cheap big t-shirts that i'll sleep in and daddy can wear when he watches you.

wish us luck.

oh, did i mention that your eyes are no longer the standard issue baby gray/dark blue? they've lightened up CONSIDERABLY...and now are a light blue around the iris and medium/dark blue on the outer rim. we're hoping that the rest of your dark baby hair falls out soon-you have light blonde hair underneath and it's just so cute we want to see more of it! and did you know you have an awesome patch of white hair just over your left ear? i think it may be your birthmark--the skin is def. lighter there as well (as in no pigment). i love it.

jonas, we love you so much. you have completely stolen our hearts forever.

love,
mama

p.s. we need to get cracking on finishing daddy's first father's day gifts!!

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