before jonas entered this world with his death-metal scream, i had already pictured what motherhood was going to be like. i was going to be this super-mom, who was going to get her pre-marriage (yes...beyond pre-pregnancy) body back immediately, who'd wake up early to hit the farmer's market with her baby, who would breastfeed with ease and pump enough milk to feed a small island of people...you know, just regular stuff.
instead, i find myself struggling to pry my eyes open before 10am (ARGH! 10 am! so early and bright and birds chirp too loudly!). and by that point, the farmer's market is basically over. while i've lost a good amount of weight and am close to being back to pre-baby weight, i'm still far, far away from even thinking about being near pre-marriage weight.
the one thing that i'm really just nailing on this motherhood thing is the breastfeeding. i'm not sure how or why, but it's just been super easy since day one (or i guess something like, 45 minutes after birth?). jonas just got it, and somehow my boobs understood too while i just sat there reading a manual. he eats whenever he is hungry, be it 4-5 hours after his last feeding or 30 minutes. you can easily look at my 3 week old child and see that he's not hurting for food. and i'm pumping really well, too.
i've become surprisingly agile while breastfeeding. while i've sprayed my child (and myself. and my pillow. and a fleece blanket. and the floor. and a little on the wall) with breast milk, i've used the bathroom while breastfeeding (which isn't tricky until it's time to wash your hands). i've picked up a room while breastfeeding. and many more amazing feats.
the one thing that i'm not so good at is eating while i nurse jonas. i just don't seem capable of eating while i nurse, no matter what tactic i try. now, don't get me wrong, i FOR SURE eat while i nurse daily. i just happen to maybe drop a lot of food on jonas. a lot of food. and today, i reached an all-time low...i licked strawberry jelly off his neck because there was no rags around.
who am i really kidding?
it's really good jelly. you don't waste this stuff.