Tuesday, May 5, 2009

on being pregnant

over these past 112 months of being pregnant, i've had some pretty deep realizations strike me. come with me through the fun that is my final stage pregnancy...

the belly touch

as long as i know you, i honestly don't care if you touch my stomach, with or without asking. this is because i know who you are, and have some sort of level of comfort with you just for that pure reason.

but the man at the mall today? i'm sorry, but not only are you a dude, but you're a dude who i don't know, and wouldn't even trust refilling my coke. so no, my sir, you may not touch my belly.

the comments

yes, i realize that i am massive. i get this. like i've said, i'm just about 112 months pregnant. this is to be expected.

but seriously, there's ony so much self-esteem a person can have (especially when pregnant) when you're told day in and day out how big you are. i get it. i have eyes and a mirror. i can see it. i don't need the extra comments (unless it's telling me how you mistook me for heidi klum at first glance).

the unsolicited

i am probably the biggest advocate of getting advice from various sources. it helps me process a ton of different ways to do something, all of the possible scenarios, and lets me filter and mold it until there's something that works for me.

i love advice, be it from a friend, family member, or the internets.

but when it's unsolicited OPINIONS on how i should dress my child, experience labor, how far apart i should spread my pregnancies, what i should eat, should i immunize my child, etc...well, then there's going to be an issue. because that isn't helpful. that's saying that your way is THE only way to do this, and frankly, it's annoying. and it just makes me smile and nod at you while i'm really punching you in the face in my mind.

if i want to dress my child only in white onesies and purple socks, then by george, he's going to only wear white onesies and purple socks. if i want to have a cup of coffee or a cold deli meat sandwich and that offends you, then turn your head, my friend. because salami's on the menu. and WHEN i get my epidural, and if i decide to be induced and you don't like it, then don't come to the hospital while it's happening. because i've researched reasons for most of the things i do...and it's all good.

on clothes

i have actually gotten more grief than i thought i would about the clothes i've worn since being pregnant. i'm sorry, but going out and buying a bunch of maternity clothes (for me) didn't make sense. sure, i have some pants and a shirt or two and a dress or two that's "maternity"...but i've skated by by wearing clothes i already had, you know, just in a different way. but i've seriously recieved not so nice comments about not wearing basically a mumu, and how it's indecent to wear fitted clothes while you're pregnant.

dude, i'm pregnant. i'm huge. it should be okay that i don't want to wear a circus tent when i already feel like an elephant.


that's all i have for now...you know, being 112 months pregnant.


Jasmine said...


Remember that night I was coming over to your house to watch movies in fayetteville.... it was raining. I don't even remember what we watched- but I stopped at wal-mart before you got off work (you were still at Express) to buy a new T-Shirt and pants. I bought work out clothes... cause they stretch damn it!, and then...by the time I got to your house I was so annoyed because my shirt kept pooping up. Revealing my huge stretch marked belly. You giggle at me and said, "dude... just roll with it."

I remember that night. I was tired of being HUGE and you were like, Jasmine. It is what it is- and you look beautiful.

Now is time for me to say the same thing to you.
For Serious! You are very beautiful. Always have been... always will be. I will miss seeing your belly grow- and all your milestones. You are SO close!
Next stage, just wait... you'll get the whole "are you breastfeeding? Your boobs are HUGE" comments.

Jasmine said...

I can't spell at all! And grammar hates me...
oh well

"Pooping up"