Sunday, May 3, 2009

church.

so last night, john and i went to my parents' house for dinner and some games. when it came time to leave, john went home to get ready for work, and i stayed the night at my parents' house (basically because i haven't been feeling well for the past few days).

so this morning i went with them to the church i grew up in. and never before have i been more thankful that john and i found vintage.

it wasn't that the experience was horrible. but walking into that building, singing those songs, listening to that man preach...i just couldn't worship. i didn't feel God like i do so often at vintage. and as i looked around the congregation while we were singing hymns, everyone's face was the same--blank. there was no emotion, no dancing, no swaying to the music. it felt so empty in that place.

the preacher there is very into INTENSE bible study. which i believe is perfect in a small group setting. but when during the worship service, during the actual sermon you only go over ONE verse...it's a little too much. i'm not exaggerating when i say that when i attended that church, it took us 3 years to get through the book of john.

3 years. one book.

he's also of the old baptist school where you must yell and cry in the same sermon. i don't get it.

i'm so glad that there is that church for those who worship like that. for those where that environment brings them closest to God...i'm so very happy for them. but it's just not for me. and i don't regret that i left that church, not for one second. i only wish that vintage had been around sooner (because while the church itself was there for 1.5 years (or so) before we joined, i was church searching and had given up way before then).

i'm thankful for a place where you don't have to wear a suit to fit in. where you can clap and sing loud and dance to the music if that's what you feel. if you want to refill your coffee cup, if you want to talk to the preacher man after service to tell him that the slides behind some of the songs make your husband sick because it reminds him of brains splattered on a wall, where you can be comfortable being you, where it's okay to have doubt, to have questions about God...thank you, vintage.

No comments: