Tuesday, April 14, 2009

tired.

while i've had a pretty enjoyable pregnancy, i'm tired of being pregnant. in the past week or two i've reached the end stages, and frankly, they're not my favorite. they remind me of the days when i was doubled over in random public parking lots, throwing up red velvet cake and swearing to elderly people that i wasn't drunk.

i'm at the point where i can no longer blame gas on the dog (although, to be fair, zeus has some nasty gas). i'm at the point where walking faster than a slow waddle not only exhausts me, but causes me to pee myself. i'm at the point where it feels like the baby is going to fall out of me if i try anything too quickly. i'm at the point where most women can breathe easier, but i'm dying because the kid is finally turning the right way, and i was blessed with an unusually short torso for my height.

i'm there.

man, i think that God makes the second trimester so wonderful so that you will forget the puking parking lots of the past 3 months. on that same note, i think He makes the moment you hold your child for the first time so incredible so you forget the past months struggles with poop, and oh..you know, shoving a human being out of your body.

and that's why there are the michelle duggars of the world.

...

tmi alert...tmi alert

i'm slightly scared about the pelvic appointment today. i mean, i know it's going to be uncomfortable, there might be a moment or two of light pain, and that there could be bleeding the following day. that's all fine. i'm okay with that. but last time i had a pelvic (gosh, at my first REAL ob/gyn appointment) the doctor couldn't find my cervix.

i mean, obviously i have one. and obviously he found it eventually. he just couldn't physically get to it with the standard tools, and had to bust out the big boys. did i mention that i snorted during this exam?

i did.

and i'd be more okay with going through the awkwardness of some man other than my husband fiddling around down there, trying to discern what's what if today's appointment was going to be conducted by my regular doctor.

but it's not. so the first impression i'll be giving this substitute doctor is of my girlie parts. and somehow that's unsettling. because now it's a stranger. not the man i'm used to.

i know that makes little to no sense at all...but in my little pregnant head, it's all i can think about.

"hi, i'm dr. so-and-so, filling in for dr. x."

"hi."

"okay, so...spread 'em."


it's not a pretty (or logical) thought. but such is me.

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