Friday, April 10, 2009

smooth criminal

yesterday, after a long and semi-frustrating day at work (we have some seriously insane patients), after finding a snoozing husband at 6pm who was in no condition to help me shop for groceries, after going to sam's and getting said groceries while it was sunny only to get home and have to unload the car solo (because said husband was still snoozing) in the rain, i saw it.

a letter addressed to me from the city attorney's office. and you know that is never good.

after racking my brain of what i could have possibly done wrong (did i speed through that light? is someone pissed that we still haven't mowed our yard this year? did they finally hunt me down after i forgot to take the yard sale signs down last october!? am i a criminal?? ). after much thought (and increasing trepidation), i opened the envelope.

and folks, you want to know what i did?

i didn't turn in my library books.
i shit you not.

i scanned the letter because at this point, i was half confused, half really, really finding this humorous. did you know that it's a crime in arkansas to not turn in your library books? and that a warrant can be issued for your arrest? and that the city of rogers apparently is very serious about their literature?

i didn't either. and i honestly didn't even remember having checked out books at the library until it hit me...i had. back in late september: "what to expect when you're expecting" and "a seperate peace".

after john woke up, i asked him if i'd have to serve prison time for the extreme severity of my crime.

can someone bake me a cake with a file in it?


Jasmine said...


We can share a cell. And we'll sing Ben Fold's and Weezer songs and braid each other's hair and draw flowers on our wall.

Too funny!

John's ladies seem to have a problem with the law. Hahahahah

Kim J said...

No, but I can bring you meatloaf and peas!