Tuesday, April 21, 2009

old people.

let me first start this by saying that i honestly do love old people. i do. i work in an office where our clients are primarily senior citizens, and 99% of them i love to death. i can't wait to be old, and i'm pretty positive that john wishes he could be an old man right now.

but there are just some things that old people do that kill me. and i mean almost literally.

today i was minding my own business, driving to work south bound on 540. as i approached my exit ramp, it's not completely uncommon for drivers to slow down (because the speed drops by 10 miles an hour at this place ANYWAY, and we're all getting geared up to exit the bypass to only enter on an "expressway"). so when we all slow down a smidge, i think nothing of it. but when our speed decreases from 60mph to 30mph...this becomes an issue.

i see the offending car ahead of me by 4 or 5 vehicles, and am still not TOO concerned because i know that all i need to do once the roads merge is to get in the other lane so i can get to work.

unfortunately, the people in the offending car need to merge over, too. but while we are all going a little less than 30 mph, the cars to our right are going 60 mph, and merging can't happen. so the offending car stops and puts their blinker on.

at this point, a sense of panic creeps in. i'm not worried about missing my exit because i can just loop around and hit it off 71B. but it's the cars that are zooming around, the tires that are screeching, and the mass chaos that leaves me thinking that "this is it. i'm going to die. and then i'm going to have to kick some butt".

because that's how i roll. zombie butt kicking.

anyway, we all end up getting over into the correct lanes, and i wind up stuck immediately behind the offending car. i pass them as our exit becomes 2 lanes wide, and look at them. it was an elderly couple who must have had been bff's with methuselah.


i'm pretty serious when i say that they should make it a law that every few years EVERYONE has to re-take their driving test in order to keep their license. while driving is great and fun, i know i don't want to die because someone who has become incapable of driving in a safe manner is behind the wheel.

for realz.

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