so i've mentioned before that john and i play a horrible, horrible game called "fat or pregnant", in which we try to determine if said subject is pregnant or just carrying around extra belly weight.
i can't type this too loud (well, i can. because i'm inside and they can't hear me type?) but thre's a chick right now outside of my office window who just left subway (yes, at 10:20am) and i swear she is pregnant. i mean, there are obvioius clues...she's at subway at 10:20am. she has a big belly (that actually looks just a little smaller than mine).
so she opened the passenger door of the car she came in, laid some stuff down in the seat, and came back out to stand next to the car.
i couldn't help but notice that her pants were saggy and that her shirt had ridden up, revealing several inches of belly and ass-crack. sadly, i've been there too (not so much with the ass crack, but with the belly...i mean, i even went to walmart with a couple inches exposed on the underside because frankly i didn't feel like changing and don't care anymore).
so i felt bad for her, and prayed that she'd feel the draft (because it's CHILLY outside today). she eventually did.
she bent over her purse, and got our what i thought was a cell phone. except that she lit it on fire.
OMG, SHE'S OBVIOUSLY PREGNANT AND IS SMOKING.
before i ran out to confront her (because, honestly, i would)i realized that maybe she isn't pregnant? i mean...she is chunky everywhere else (she's obviously an apple shaped person compared to my usual pear), and maybe she just carries her weight all in her belly?
on any count, she could have kicked my ass.
so inside i stayed.