Saturday, April 18, 2009

can't we all just get along?

last night as i was checking out facebook, i came across a note from the husband of couple from church who are due within days of us. for their birth plan, they've elected not to use medicinal pain intervention, and have been following a decently strict diet/timetables/etc. it's what they want to do with their pregnancy and labor, and it's the perfect solution for them.

in his note, he's upset that people aren't being supportive of their decision to not use an epidural, and how basically everyone gives their opinion on how THEIR childbirth experience should be. it's a touchy issue because pregnancy and birth (while i haven't experienced it yet) is such a personal issue. i can completely relate.

i work in a dental office where the average age of our patient is about 65-70 years old. i, like most pregnant women, get asked daily by each patient the usual questions, and i've been congratulated, given more unsolicted advice than necessary, and asked more times than i could have imagined if i was going to be using an epidural or not. when i reply that i fully intend to, the woman asking usually goes off about how she chose not to, didn't use one, and how they can't imagine using one.

usually, it doesn't bug me, and i just reply something like, "wow! you're more of a woman than i am!" in a joking tone. usually they laugh and get the joke, but i've had patients respond to that by saying, "yes. yes i am."

and they're serious.

i think that when it comes to pregnancy and labor, we have to embrace each other.

i'm not the person who is going to eat certain things at certain times because a program tells me that's what is best. i'm the girl who eats deli meat, consumes caffiene, didn't attend a birthing class, and while i'm going to wait as long as possible, i'm getting an epidural (not overly concerned that my "legs will become bricks and brain turn to mush", and knowing that for me, it will help me focus on my child and pushing him out without being distracted by the incredible pain)...and you know what? everything is going great. i've had some unpleasant experiences and am having an increasingly throbbing lower back...but you know what? everything is great.

and the woman that is the anti-thesis of that? the super regulated, strict schedule, classes every week girl? with her, everything is great.

i just don't understand why we can't agree to disagree, to respect each other's decisions without putting someone else down in the process.

it's borderline ridiculous.

1 comment:

Cori said...

I agree with you! A few of my family members try to tell me that I don't need to get an epidural - YEA RIGHT! I don't eat deli meat nor do I consume caffiene, but you better believe I am getting an epidural!