Wednesday, December 31, 2008

memorable moments of 2008

in a loose chronological certain order, here's a list of some of the "highlights" of this past year:

john recovers from eye surgery
search for church and pastor to officiate wedding begins
is at this point hired by state police department, waiting for rogers

john is geared up to leave for 6 months to go to state police academy, but calls rogers one more time to tell them he has to know because he's leaving that weekend...and he's hired!
after looking on facebook at justin hart's wedding photos, realize that i KNOW robb, and contact justin for more information
attend vintage for first time, and we both fall in love

got to take part in zach and carole's engagement at the lake house
john is sworn in by rogers police department, high-fives mayor.

wedding feva'

we move into current house with jamie, our faithful roommate

had amazing bachelor/bachelorette parties thrown by amazing friends
got married at a beautiful chapel infront of those we love
played "bible trivia" for the next two days

adjustment to married life
faithful roommate jamie and lovely girlfriend sarah move to colorado

start weight lose regiment and lost 7 or 8 pounds quickly
went to a delayed (but amazing!!) engagement party for zach and carole
reading a positive pregnancy test
telling John that we really needed to go to walmart for more tests
taking the blood test to REALLY confirm pregnancy

told friends and family that SURPRISE! wendy can't count ovulation days.
john's turned 24
first real prenatal appointment

taking a honeymoon cruise...with john's parents. :)
i turn 24

thanksgiving yummy time

discover that our little monster is all boy
spent time with family and friends during christmas

i'm so thankful for the events of this year...there's been hard times and great times and times i'd rather forget (red velvet cake, anyone?). but i've been blessed (despite the red velvet cake).

happy new year to all of you!

queen-sized hell

something strange has happened since being pregnant. this little (hardy har har...who am i kidding, he's huge. can i get an epidural now?) baby has taken over the entire queen-sized bed.

frankly, this hasn't really affected zeus or myself much, but poor john. poor, poor john. he's done run out of space.

i truly do feel bad about this, and it's gotten increasingly worse since christmas day when i got THE PILLOW THAT SAVED MY LIFE. i never knew what sleep was until i used THE PILLOW. and now, there's no turning back. the PILLOW is very, very large...and i basically wrap it around my pathetic pregnant body until the pain stops throbbing everywhere and i unknowingly pass out, cold.

unfortunately for john, this means that jonas has decided to take the middle and diagonal portion of the bed. and since jonas has made that decision, i have to follow suit. we're sort of attached at the uterus at the moment. so this means that i have woken up to hands pressing against my face in a good-hearted attempt to push me back to sort of my side, just so my poor husband can breathe (and stay on the bed). don't worry...i gave him full permission to roll my increasingly rotund self to anywhere he needs me to be so that he can cling to what's left of the bed.

god bless the john. and the big tv. and salami.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008


it's always great to visit family...but sometimes it feels even better to pull up in your driveway and unload the car. one thing I like about car trips is that you have way too much time to talk about things, anything.

so tonight I talked with john about some personal things that I had been struggling with for the past few months-things that can only be shared with a spouse because their the only one who really understands. I used to be the girl who couldn't talk about anything with anyone without having basically an anxiety attack beforehand. I'm proud that I'm able to approach things and discuss them with him when the time is right, when I'm ready, without much apprehension. he's helped me open my lines of communication by showing nothing but love and support...I'm grateful to him more than I think he knows.

I love you john. thank you.

Sunday, December 28, 2008


it's been a very busy few days-oh my gosh.

between three christmas's in two days (and we are leaving for our final one tonight), doctors appointments, food everywhere, rearranging the living room to fit the giant tv set, and just wanting to stop and breathe...I'm exhausted.

I've gained 4 pounds (so still -6 what I was before baby, and my waist (okay, belly) is growing leaps and bounds. I'm trying to get in the mindset that this is okay, that I'm supposed to get bigger, that it's okay if I "look fat". because it's a baby, and that's how it works. john does a good job making me feel pretty when it's a time when it's really easy not to; I'm lucky to have him as my partner in this.

jonas got so many goodies for Christmas already- a crib, changing table, wall decorations, bedding, and blankets. I'm just getting impatient because I want him so badly. it's great and all feeling him move, roll, and kick. I almost lost it when we saw him swallow on the ultrasound. I just want him. out of the belly and in my arms.

oh, and I love Alton Brown. always have, always will.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

the monster, revealed

on Tuesday night, around 10:30pm, we found out that our beautiful monster had a name.

jonas asher alexander.

we are so excited to meet him, getting know him, and love on him. it feels amazing to be able to finally call our monster by his name!

don't worry though-he will always be our monster...a nickname and term of endearment that I'm sure will always be just his.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


our monster really loves rap music and johns voice. because of this, I believe that john has a possibly extremely lucrative career in hip hop.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

no soup for you.

today at work, we had a Christmas lunch from Panera (various panini's and soups to choose from) and gifts given to us from the bosses. it was great to talk and have fun with my co-workers while sitting in the front room eating lunch.

after lunch, we had to hustle to get everything cleaned up because patients started to pour in. a new patient came and sat at the table to fill out some paperwork. she asked me if she was sitting in someone's spot because there were three unopened bowls of soup on the table. i apologized for the mess, and went to grab the bowls of soup and spoons.

i picked them up, and the phone started to ring. i put the soups on the front counter and ran around the side to grab the phone.

a mother of one of our problem patients, who frankly, i hate to say it, is complete white trash AND annoying, AND try to get as much free as they can CAME TO THE FRONT DESK AND STARTED TO PILFER THROUGH THE SOUP AND WHILE I'M ON THE PHONE TOLD ME SHE'D TAKE THE POTATO SOUP. i looked at her like, are you f'ing kidding me? and tossed her a spoon. i immediately took the other soup to the fridge for the girls who were saving them for later.

the woman took our freaking soup.

she's also the sort of person that will see you on the phone, and will TALK to you the entire time. because i'm usually in the front, i don't have any sort of escape route--i'm the barrier between the mother and everyone in the back. they don't want her back there because all she does is TALK TALK TALK and annoy everyone back there. so i have to guard the door.


i'm a wimp and hormonal

that's a line from an email i just sent lori, my boss.

and now for the backstory--

the beginning of last week, i was asked to push a pt who was scheduled for today to the pending appt page. lori told me that the case wasn't ready, and that she was going to do some investigating on it and then let me know what was up. i never heard anything back from lori, so i just assumed that she had taken care of everything.

well, i guess there had been some miscommunication. around 9:15 or so, our pt called to tell me that she was running late for her 10am appt...and i realized that she wasn't on the schedule. i told her to hold for just a moment, and waddled to the back to ask the girls what was going on. they told me that her case wouldn't be ready for another 3 to 4 weeks...and so i went back to apologize my pregnant receptionist butt off to the patient.

who didn't take it well. at all. and chewed me out for about, oh, 15 minutes atleast about how her husband died last year and she has all these animals to tend to, yada yada yada. i tried to find a time that would work to reschedule her, and made it for january 12th...4 weeks out. after hours, even, because she's a teacher in huntsville, so the drive is decent.

i got off the phone and re-confirmed that with the girls...and they said, oh. um. the 19th would be better.

and i just looked at them and said, "i can't call that woman again to push it back farther."

so i sent an email to lori, my boss, and in it, explained my confusion, and what had just gone down. and then i added that i was a wimp and hormonal, and cannot bring myself to have someone talk very harshly to me again when i know it's coming. i just can't do it.

please, let her call the patient. ahhhh.

Monday, December 22, 2008

uh oh.

this morning we had our ultrasound...and got to see our beautiful monster baby. the very first image we saw of the monster was a full on face-completely surreal.

i get a weekly email from a website called that tells me basically what's going on with the baby that week. part of the information that's included is the baby's approx. height and weight. on sunday it told me all about how the monster was about 10.5 oz, and around 10 inches long. imagine my surprise when the technician told me today that our baby weighed ONE POUND. ONE POUND. OMG OUR BABY IS GINORMOUS.

so, our due date got pushed up a little from may 10th to may 4th, which is FINE BY ME. seriously. A OKAY.

oh yeah, and i threw up DURING the ultrasound. just because i'm that classy.

but from what they say, the monster looks healthy, has all the important parts and they're working. we are opening the envelope wednesday morning to find out if it's a jonas or a loreli, and then telling our families the next day (and our friends!).

peace and love and baby parts,

Sunday, December 21, 2008


a couple of weeks ago, the monster baby decided that it needed some of grandmas leftover rolls. not just needed but NEEDED. I heated them up, but when I tried to eat one, I about broke my jaw. the rolls were all hard as rocks--beyond stale.

yesterday I was driving through rogers, and a church on the corner had changed their marquee. the new one said the bread of life never goes stale.

let me say that again...

the bread of life never goes stale.

I was immediately brought back to that day in the kitchen, where I was near tears (hey, I'm pregnant here) about stale rolls. it made me think-how often is what we bring to God not our best? how often do we let ourselves dry up, and leave Him nothing but stale crumbs. I'll speak for myself and just say right now that it happens way too often.

i dont want God to look into my heart and find nothing appealing there. I want my life to always be fresh and delightful for Him.

Friday, December 19, 2008


maybe it's because it's friday.
maybe it's because i'm getting CUTE new glasses.
maybe it's because i'm wearing maternity jeans, and am enjoying the comfort of not having a zipper or button on them.

maybe it's all of that and more that's making me get SO excited about this coming week starting, oh, now. in a little bit jasmine and the little man will be in fayetteville and we'll go do, i don't know..whatever. later tonight, i'm eating with the parents and looking at christmas lights. and even later, after john's home, we're probably going to a christmas party (if it's still going on that late).

saturday we're buying all our christmas gifts. and i think i'm doing another ride along.

sunday is church! and grandma's spaghetti. and nap time for wendy while john works.

monday is THE ultrasound where our little monster better end up being a SINGLET, or i may need to take stock in valium. then it's work, eh. buuuuuuuut at 10pm is john's shift party--at FASTLANES!!!

tuesday is

AND WEDNESDAY MORNING WE FIND OUT WHAT THE BABY IS!!! and then i get to get things ready for our parents for christmas when we tell them! and then while john works, i go with my parents for presents at grandpa's first, and then grandma's.

and thursday is CHRISTMAS!!!

friday i sleep.
saturday too. and maybe ride along.
sunday is church and sleeping.
and monday and tuesday we head to russellville.
wednesday i work (yup, new years eve).
and thursday i sleep.
friday i work again.


SO MUCH EXCITEMENT. and somewhere in there, i'm getting my damn fabulous glasses.

meet my new pretties.

my new glasses! because i'm blind! i don't get them until next week...but i love them.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


the title above is the trascription of my reaction when these came in the mail last week:

they're "nerdy baby abc flash cards". and they make me want to smoosh my face up and giggle with joy. all at the same time.

to make it even better, i'm framing these nerdy beautiful things for the baby's room in simple collage frames that match the color of the crib and changing table we have. and i'm getting the frames christmas eve!! so you know what i'll be doing all night christmas eve while john's protecting the world.

i think i'm set now. someone just needs to get me a breast pump and life is golden. any takers?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

adolf hitler turns three

sorry for the clusterblogging...but i just...oh my god.

this family in New Jersey has named their child Adolf Hitler Campbell. and are upset that a local grocery store refused to spell out the child's full name on a birthday cake. the same grocery store denied a similar request 2 years ago when the father also wanted a swastika put on the cake.

claiming that they aren't racist, but just of German blood way down the family line, they've also named their 2 year old daughter JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and their infant Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell.

so anyone griping about the baby names john and i could be worse. much worse.

shiny happy people

i overslept this morning.

i'm not talking like i overslept by 30 minutes or anything. i'm talking that i woke up 2 minutes after i was supposed to be at the office.

this is no bueno. luckily, i didn't get in trouble or anything, and they understood. i guess it helps that i usually get her 15 minutes early and stay 15 minutes late getting things prepped for the next day.

we did the wedding ring test today on one of the girls at work who is getting engaged within the next month or so. it didn't move. so to make sure that it was working, we did it to me...and worked. and then did it to another co-worker, and it showed both of her girls. amy got a little upset at first, but then said that she had always wanted to adopt several kids if she wasn't able to have any herself.

even though she tried to play it off, i still felt like a debbie downer.

another office got us a present for christmas (we get two or three gifts a day)...and it was the best gift eva. a keylime and white godiva chocolate liquer cheesecake with white godiva chocolate curls on top.

ignore the giant wendy face print in the center of the cake.

um, and john is pretty snazzy. i craved a side salad from mcdonalds with balsamic vinegarette dressing--mainly because i CRAVE vinegar and sour things still. we got home, and it was stinking italian dressing, and i didn't want to eat the salad anymore. i know. i'm a baby. but i'm not going to ingest calories if i don't like the taste of something, you know? so john made me salted, buttered popcorn. and my heart exploded for him.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

being pregnant is such a surreal experience. it's wonderful, uncomfortable, gross, and incredible all at the same time. feeling your child move inside of you, kick you, respond to is unbelievable. thinking about the possibilities for your unborn child, wondering about their future and who they will become boggles the mind.

and then I think about Mary. I can't help but feel a bond with this amazing woman...the only woman in the history and future of the world that God knew would be able to do it. I mean, this teenaged girl gave birth to Jesus. she kissed the face of God. she had to raise this boy to become a watch Him be spit on, mocked, beaten, crucified. God knew her strength, her faith, her heart. I can't imagine what my reaction will be the first time my baby, my love, has to feel pain. and yet, she was able to give her child up to carry the burden of the world.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

double shot

we have this new, nifty little coffee maker at work that we're are testing out. you open the lid, pop a single serving container of the beverage of your choice, and it brews it wonderfully hot into your cup. the coffee is all flavored, the coco is too...and it makes flavored teas as well.

it's tidy, easy, precise, and the complete anti-thesis of our "real" coffee maker.

with our "real" coffee maker, i'm in charge of making sure everything goes the right way. i change the filters, add the 1.5 packages of coffee grounds, clean the coffee pots, prepare the water for the next day, clean up everyone's coffee mess, and make sure it's constantly filled and piping hot.

it's messy, difficult (as coffee can be), and it can be hard to measure exactly how strong it should be.

while the quick and tidy machine won the hearts of many at first, in the end, i think we're giving it back. there's something just not right about it...and there's something so right about the messy process of the other that just is endearing.

i hope that's how Christ views us. i like to think that He enjoys the messy, difficult, unmeasurable people that we are because every day, every minute is different. i think He'd get bored if we were tidy, easy to deal with, and did everything perfectly. i'm glad that God loves me in my gritty texture, my bitter moments, when i'm too weak, when the balance is off. He's there to clean me up and make sure i'm fulfilled for the next day.

God is good.

my issues with tuesday nights.

i have an extreme love/hate relationship with tuesday nights.

the pros:

house!! we watch this show religiously.
the fringe!! i usually catch these.

the cons:

i usually fall asleep DURING the fringe. if i happen to make it through the whole episode, i will fall asleep by 9pm.

this is all great and dandy if i didn't wake up every wednesday morning at oh, about 4am ready to go. i don't quite understand why i have to fall asleep early on tuesdays, and why that makes me wake up 1-1.5 hours early every wednesday...but all i know is that i hate it. luckily for john, i atleast let him have the cuddle time that i've been neglecting him since pregnancy.

damn tuesday nights.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

another reason to love john

an email i got from him today while i am at work...

"I was watching Real Chance again, and I thought... They don't even need the testimonies. There were cameras everywhere. And the hit guy could just id him."

real chance being the "love" show on VH1, not unlike Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, I Love New get the picture.

Monday, December 8, 2008

just call me officer pregnant chick

saturday night i got to experience my first ride-along with one officer j. alexander. and let me just tell you was the most thrilling 8 hours of my life!!!

while we didn't have any big calls, he let me help choose who to pull over, let me give my input on suspect behavior, and even offered to let me (YES ME!!!) turn on the lights and sirens. unfortunately, when the time actually came for me to do this, i got stage fright and didn't want to screw anything up.

i informed him that i had his back if he needed me to taser anyone or, you know, throw them aganist the hood and cuff 'em. he respectably declined my offer, muttering something about needing training. TRAINING, SCHMAINING...that's what i say to that.

but seriously, i had an amazing saturday...from him waking me up so he could make me breakfast, to sitting by the fire, to looking at cribs and changing tables, to fighting crime (taking out one scum-sucker after another).

thanks, john! you're the best friend a girl can have.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


it's the one time of year that I dread music at church. it's not because I hate it. it couldn't be further from it.

the music breaks me so, so much. I was okay today, and then I heard it...oh holy night. it's my favorite son of all time. and it's the leader in only a handful of songs that cause me not to cry, but to weep.

and it's always slightly embarrassing, and I wish I could explain what exactly it is that brings me to my knees. I guess the easiest way I can explain it is that I feel God in those minutes more than I do at any other time. and I'm just so overcome with gratitude, and beauty, and love, and fear that it's all I can do not to fall down to the ground and bow. so I stand there, voice cracking and smearing tears across my face.

the power of God is so awesome.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


life is so much more free when you realize that not everyone is going to like you.
life is so much more free when you realize that you don't have to force relationships that don't work.
life is so much more free when you realize that you don't have to like everyone.
life is so much more free when you realize the need to seperate yourself from those who harm you.
life is so much more free when you realize forgiveness.

it's important to forgive yourself, forgive others. it's crucial to forgive. but remember proverbs 26:11. it's okay to walk away.


please send out your thoughts and prayers to my friend karen. i've spoken about her before, mainly about the problems that she has been having with her pregnancy. she's a month a head of me (about 22 weeks), and today the worst has come. she has lost the baby.

pray for her soul to be comforted after what has been an already been a devestating few months for her. she knows that God is good and doesn't give us more than He knows we can handle...i just wish that this wasn't part of her path. pray for her husband and for their adoptive son...pray that they have the words needed so that this young boy can understand. pray for the needed comfort, support, and strength that their church home here in fayetteville can provide for them.

she's a painfully optimistic person, whose amazing faith in God is almost hard to comprehend. she's struggling right now because she doesn't understand why God needed this to happen, especially He knows her ability to love and cherish a disabled child. she knows that she wont be able to understand it now...and understands that she may never be able to.


i have this huge fear that people don't think that i'm a good mama-to-be. HUGE ANXIETY.

i dye my hair. i drink caffiene. i eat deli meat. wait...there's more.

my grandma and i ALMOST got into a fist fight last night. we were shopping at target, and i was showing her all the little baby things that i thought were cute. there were some onesies, and some jammies, that were robot print, and some more that had dinos on them. she thought they were cute if we were having a boy. we then had a heated discussion about what colors babies should/could wear.

and i about lost it. i'm tired of people making me feel bad because i don't fit into the whole "cutesy" mom stuff. i don't like the idea of having to put a child in a certain color or pattern. it's a ONESIE for crying out loud. it'll be covered in vomit and poop in about 15 minutes. and i think it's perfectly wonderful if you do dress your infant son in only brown and blue and red. and i think it's perfectly wonderful if you want to dress your baby girl in pinks and purples.

but that's not me. so why should i get more or less bitched at because i like robots and dinosaurs and trucks?

wait, there's more.

i also have this huge fear when people ask me about my diet, pre-natal vitamins, weight, when i'm due, etc.

for the record, i actually eat really well. i usually have orange juice and or cottage cheese before work, a salad and soup for lunch, and a lot of the time left overs or salad/soup type stuff for dinner. i drink a lot of water, but i also have hot tea (and herbal tea!! omg, it's lethal.), and sodas when i want one.

for the record, i stopped taking pre-natal vitamins. they made me feel HORRIBLE. i was more lethargic, sick, pissy attituded when i was on them. so i stopped taking them a couple weeks ago. i started just taking a flintstone chewable...and guess what? i'm happier in this pregnancy than i have ever, ever been.

there's more. but i'm done for now.


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

the incredible shrinking pregnant chick

is no more. i've officially gained back a whopping 1 pound even. i'm still less that what i started, but it's a gain! i was actually excited to see that it had gone up a smidge. i know it's just a drop in the barrell of what weight i will gain...BUT I GAINED A POUND!!! yay!!

i'm also sort of fighting with my clothes right now. the most comfortable thing to wear for me is a bra tank, and yet, they make me look even bigger than i am. hmmm. oh well. comfort over fashion right now.

just a couple more weeks until we find out if it's a jonas or a loreli...i'm way too excited to even think about it.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

blah blah blah

1. i'm a dancing fool. i know, i know. looking at me, you'd never guess it. but i LOVE dancing in public places where you are supposed to dance.

2. with that said...i am not good at dancing. and nor do i care. i will flail my body about, and all is well.

3. one time, while out dancing with a friend, some guy dedicated a song to me.

4. that song was "i'm in love with a stripper".

5. no, i didn't look like a stripper. i was wearing shorts, a dirt-stained baseball t-shirt, pig-tails, and chucks. but he really thought he was getting somewhere with that.

6. give me a number with multiple digits in it, and i will memorize it for life. i'm like rainman in that sense.

7. i really love chinese food. especially general tso's chicken.

8. i cannot wait until i can eat raw fish again. this fake/cooked sushi thing is tasty, but nothing beats raw fish.

9. i make REALLY good sushi rolls. i can't cook many things that well (john disagrees with me), but i make the best homemade sushi that a non-japanese person can make.

10. i also make delicious tomato soup from scratch that can double as a tasty pasta sauce.

11. i am addicted to mtv's true life. i love seeing people who are possibly more screwed up than i am on tv. delicious.

12. i also am addicted to the white raspberry green tea we have at's so hot and tasty.

13. my main food aversion during this pregnancy has been beef. and that sucks because I LOVE MEAT.

14. but, after i have the kiddo, i think that i will revert back to a mainly vegetarian diet...allowing some fish, ground turkey, and chicken breast in.

15. i have a healthy respect for nutella. and by that, i mean i have to skip the aisle that it's in or i will eat it from the shelf.

16. i've been craving a peanut butter and strawberry preserves sandwich for three weeks. i've held off because i don't want to go buy jam and peanut butter.

17. we turned the heat on for the first REAL time last night. i almost didn't know what to do with myself it was so toasty.

18. i like to paint. i'm not any good at it, but i've decorated my house with my paintings anyway.

19. our house is CRAZY.

20. but so are we.

Monday, December 1, 2008


small, evil being growing inside of me...let's have a heart to heart.

you had been acting wonderfully the past few days. infact...i felt BETTER than i did when i wasn't pregnant. infact!! if i didn't know i was pregnant, and felt you flutter around, and didn't grunt a little when picking up my towel from the floor...i could have sworn that you didn't even exist. i even searched the internet about the odds of having a miscarriage and no sign of it (not possible, fyi) because i was feeling THAT awesome inside and was getting seriously worried.

and then this morning, you went and just had to make a statement. at 5:35am, my little monster, you woke me up by choking me on my own vomit as i slept.

wtf. that's just screwed up. not only was it vomit, but it was the WORST kind--straight bile.


just wait til you get out of that little hidey hole you're lounging in. you are SO getting the atomic elbow, wwf style.