Wednesday, July 9, 2008


"God created marriage so that His love could be reflected in us."

that's a line from our wedding ceremony. how beautiful is that? God loves us so much that He wants to reflect all of that through the commitment of marriage.

i'm a lot of things. i'm creative. i'm artsy. i'm a good listener. i'm funny. i'm silly. i'm weird. i'm someone with a soft heart. i'm loving. i'm loyal. i'm beautiful in my own weird way. i'm all of these positive, good things. but i'm also jealous. and i'm bad at communicating. i'm a worrier. i stress too much. i assume too easily. i'm ugly in my own, weird way.

i am all of those things. and more. much more.

but with john, with john...those things, the good things...they get magnified. not just magnified, but they get BLOWN up to a mammoth size.

the bad parts of me are still there. they're just different. they're understood. and accepted. and worked on. in love.

i believe that God gave me john as my partner for a reason. when i am flustered, john soothes me. when i'm silly, john laughs with me. when i'm having problems communicating, john sits and holds my hand until i can. when i'm feeling bad about myself, john affirms his love for me. when i'm overwhelmed, john calms me and takes over.

and when john is in need, is struggling with something, is hurting, is expressing his bad parts...i need to be there to comfort, console, listen, and love. i need to step outside of myself, of my selfish desires and feelings, and contour myself into him. that's something i really struggle with. when he hurts me with a struggle he faces, instead of being upset and angry and....horrible, i am learning to act in love, take his hand, and support him.

that's how God would handle any problem, i believe. out of love. because while He's also a god of wrath...He is primarily a God of love. if He can express love, unconditional love, when we through things in His face, why can't we atleast try to do that?

i love you, john. and i want the world to be able to look at us and see God's love.


Boom da Boom said...

It sounds like you are on the right track. I like to see that. Marriage is give and take, alot of good communication is key. keep up the good work! I could tell by watching you and John that you were really in love. That makes me very happy!
With love

innerworking said...

After obssesively reading all your seems like you have grown a lot.
See you sunday :)