Wednesday, May 28, 2008

like just about every other girl from 16 to 30 years old, i really enjoy tanning. i love the heat, i love the color, and i love the fact that i'll be a leatherface in about 15 years.

it's a beautiful thing.

so after work today, i made an appointment to go tanning. no biggie. i do it a couple times a week after i get off work. but today, they only had the "mega bed" available.

to me, the word "mega" in front of ANY other word is usually a wonderfully delicious experience.

i arrive at the tanning joint, and the lady has to go with me to show me how to work the "mega bed". she explains the timing system, how long i need to set it for, and that i need to be laying the opposite direction because the bulbs aren't working on the usual face end.

in the middle of explaining ALL of that, she mentions (quite quickly) that there's a red panic button as well, you know, just in case i freak out, get dizzy, get cramps, or something like that.

excuse me?

really?

there's a panic button on a tanning bed? and i'm getting ready to get in it? with my head at the wrong end so i would have to use my big toe to jab at it in case of an emergency?

of course i got in. i live for danger.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

when your back's against the wall

i think the thing i really dislike the most about my relationship with john is when we fight. very rarely have voices been raised, but the emotions are raw and in your face and just way too intense sometimes.

after the hurt feelings are revealed (and your ego takes a beating), after the tears are cried and the kleenex box is empty, after all of that...sometimes you feel so empty. for me, it's times like those that thoughts like, "he doesn't like me. at all. what the heck? does he want out? does he want someone else? i bet so. i mean, i would. oooh, something shiny".

you get the idea.

i think the thing that i really like most (well, almost) about my relationship with john is when we fight. very rarely are voices raised, but the emotions are raw and in your face and just way too intense and TRUE sometimes.

after all the tears, the crazy thoughts, the snot (yeah. that'd be me), the mascara runs (that'd be john)...after all of that, we make up. we give each other a kiss and a hug, we whisper "i love you" in each other's ear. and in the end, i have found that i am closer to john, know him better, and can explain things in my head and heart with more ease.

i'm constantly learning about john, about myself, about our dynamics together. he humbles me, he makes me smile, and he makes me laugh. lots.

and that's what i like best. that from our fighting can come things that are so beautiful and geniuine and pure.

i cannot wait to be his wife, to have his baby one day.

slow and steady wins the race.

this morning, i was minding my own business...just driving the normal route i do daily to get to work.

while on 540, i saw everyone in front of me swerving just a little to the left. as i approached, i noticed that a decent size turtle was near the edge of the bypass, trying as hard as possible to make it to the grass.

so like everyone else, i swerved to let the turtle see another day.

unfortunately, the semi behind me did not share my sentiments. instead, it swerved INTO the turtle...splattering it.

i'm not even kidding. from my rearview mirror, i saw an explosion of turtle bits fly into the air.

moments later, i saw a minivan next to me. there were turtle bits on it's front, and a small child in the front seat weeping.



the circle of life. thank god it wasn't a lion cub.

Monday, May 19, 2008

listening.

i have serious issues with people not listening.


i try my hardest to listen to someone. i try to relay what they've said back to them, so i can make sure that i understand exactly what they're saying...so i can relate.

i don't expect (or even want) others to do this, to share in the same method of listening that i do.



but what i do expect is to be listened to. to be found important enough to listen to. and that's not happening.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

under the sea

when i was a little girl, i lived on a street in springdale that was full of neighborhood kids. we were all pretty close in age (from 5 to 10), but i was the youngest that was allowed to play unsupervised.

being the youngest was mostly a disadvantage. when my friend's dog got caught in the cow pond in the pasture, i was the one who was left by myself surrounded by cattle, while the older kids went to get help. when soccer balls were stuck in tiny places, i was the one who had to go crawl and get them out. i never was the fastest runner or most skilled bike rider.

actually...there weren't many perks. except for one.

my one advantage to being the youngest was when we would play "little mermaid". we'd all take turns being ariel, but i got to go first every time because i was the youngest (and therefore it'd be as realistic as pretending to be a mermaid can be).

so, on a typical day in the kiddie pool in jennifer and johnny's backyard, we started to pick out everyone's roles for that day's mermaid adventures. beth desperately wanted to be ariel first, and got quite upset when jennifer said that i got to go first because i was youngest.

so upset that, while sizing up jennifer and realizing that it would be a losing battle, she turned to me...and bitchslapped me across the face.

i kid you not.

it got really quiet, and i just went home. red hand-print stamped on my cheek and all. it was then that i realized that being the youngest in a group completely sucked. and disney could kiss my butt.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

our house is a very, very, very, fine house...

just a couple of pictures from our house...

this is the front entry. sort of bland right now, but once we get our engagement/wedding pics all figured out, then we can fill it out some.
this is our living room...the fireplace is gorgeous (and wood-burning!) while the beams on the ceiling are dreamy. sigh. oh...and sorry about the huge orbs of light...i forgot the lamps were on!

here's the other side of the living room...the paintings all suck, but i painted them and we figured they'd do.

and here's the little nook that leads to the mudroom outside. really, it's just a great place to plop down and read a great book!

Monday, May 12, 2008

looks like someone has a case of the mondays...

this morning, after getting ready for work, i noticed that something was missing.

my keys. not only are they my keys, but they're also my only set at our house. and they just happened to be in john's car. which was not so much at our house.

that, my friends, was not good news.

so i made a couple quick calls, and my dad was soon on his way with my spare set of keys. HOORAY!

so dad arrives, and all is well. we gather my stuff, and make sure that the house is all locked up (so i wont get reamed by john for leaving a door unlocked). we go out to the drive way, and my car isn't there.

at all.

and then i remember that it's parked in the garage. in the closed garage. that's attached to the really securely locked house.

d'oh.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

obsession

i think that i have a serious problem. i am addicted to wedding gift registries.

i can't help it. i may just be planning on checking my email, but somehow, hours later, i find myself adding item after item to our wedding registry. do i ever consult john as to what i add?

nope. i don't even think about it.
and why should i? i mean, i know that his opinion matters, of course...of course. but, really, at the end of the day, who will be the one dreaming about the 28oz elephant teapot or the dandelion print thai silk decorative throw pillows, or the multi-color rug by marykate and ashley, or the 12 x 12 prints of birds (robin and bluebird, thank you very much)? and what about the decorative wooden ducks (in red, yellow, purple, blue and cream), the tiffany-style reading lamp, and the black wire empire state building sculpture?

me. that's who.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

there's nothing quite like the beautiful and delicate art of retaliation.

after spending 7 hours with a screaming toddler, i had had enough. no, no, she has decided that naps aren't her thing anymore. no, no, she has decided that the foods she LOVED yesterday taste like dirt today. not to mention that the idea of "time outs" does not exist in her world, so trying to begin those this week (from the suggestion of her mom) has been wonderful. delightful. who needs both eardrums? not i.

so in retaliation, i dressed her in a chicken costume i found in her closet. and left her in it for the next 30 minutes until her parents got home, mainly because it completely amused me.

everyone got a good chuckle, and i got the satisfaction of watching her waddle her chubby chicken butt down the street.

i should work for the c.i.a.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

bulletpoints make my heart fuzzy

1. if at all possible, register for everything in your life. i'm not kidding. pretending to shop for things, and then people actually buy them for you totally rocks. i wish i could do it everyday. hell, i wish i could get presents everyday.

2. we're officially all moved in to our new house. together. it's weird. so far our living room, kitchen, and one of the guest rooms are DONE. i mean, we still need to find a few things to jazz up the kitchen and that guest room...but the furniture is placed where it's supposed to be, and it FUNCTIONS how it should. you know. if we had guests. but our living room seriously kicks ass and i'll post pictures of it soon. just so you all can drool in jealousy of that which is our amazingly funky and off-beat living room.

3. economic stimulus package...where are you?

4. life is amazing. our friends are better than ever, our families are better than ever, we're finally getting our footing financially...stress has been relieved.

5. voodoo dolls work. no lies.

6. there is a family of birds living in my wall. sadly, the only resolution is to kill them. on a positive note, we'll be eating well for the next few days. mmm robin. tasty.

7. we got a griddle. and when i opened it (at the REALLY REALLY last minute notice all that jazz bridal shower) i clapped like a little kid who just went potty for the first time, all by themselves. is this what being an adult makes you do? burst into applause over an electric griddle and pyrex set? because if so...i think being an adult completely rules.

8. having your own house is really neat. i'm not even kidding. you can stay up as late as you want, sit around in your underwear, and decorate whatever weird way tickles your fancy. i mean, i've lived alone for several years...but in an apartment. spreading an apartment's worth of crap over the space of a house is a lot easier than it should be.

9. i love marshmallows.

10. a painting just fell off the wall. and i repeat, voodoo dolls work.