Saturday, April 8, 2017

major 'tude

I have had the WORST attitude today. It started by being woke up by a whining child, and subsequently being snippy with everyone who managed to get in my path today. There was no one who was safe from my wrath.

The kids weren't especially bad today. Besides a couple legitimate times when discipline was needed, they were great. But it was a long day after a long week (and my sweet, sweet husband has been stuck at the office for the past 10 hours today and counting). There was a park birthday party on the windiest day on earth that was supposed to be 2 hours but we left after 3, where Tallulah fell and busted her lip and bloodied her nose. I shampooed carpets and (unsuccessfully) tried to get the house in order before her birthday party tomorrow, and after ordering my dirt-covered children to the bathtub found that the ball handle on the bath tub was broken.


I'm not sure what's the worse feeling- being in a bad mood OR knowing that you're acting like a fool because of your bad mood and getting even more upset by it. So I got the boys showered and in bed, and apologized for being frustrated with them today, because I knew it was frustrating for them as well.

And now I'm listening to Harry Potter on Audible from their bedroom while trying to tackle the broken bathtub handle, and I am so thankful for tomorrows, for the fresh start we get every single day. .

Thursday, March 30, 2017

boxes and stuff

We recently moved from a great house that backed up to the boys' school to another great house that is just a couple miles away from their school. We lucked into both houses (one being owned by a dear friend and the other just sort of fell into our laps). We have a little more space to stretch out, and it'll be a good fit for our family for a while. It's pretty and recently remodeled. It's in a quiet neighborhood, full of families, and the boys' love that they get more freedom of where they can play.

But you guys. I can't deal with anymore boxes. There are boxes stacked up in the den, the playroom, our bedroom, and don't get me started on the garage. Everything is about cleared out from the other house, save from a few things I need to grab today and some trash gathering. We started packing up our house in the beginning of March, with boxes lining the walls in preparation of the move.

We have so, so much stuff. We have so much stuff AFTER donating ten plus garbage bags of clothes. We have so much stuff after tossing, donating, or selling toys and household items. We have two (or is it three?) boxes filled with "junk drawer" stuff...and we don't have a junk drawer at the new space. We have boxes full of things I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE STILL OWNED, that had been shoved into a box during one move or another.

There's approximately 470 things to do to be done...and just a week and half before Tallulah's birthday party at our house.

So don't mind me. I'll just be over here huddled in a heap on the couch ignoring it all so it can just go away.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

The Babysitter

We've all watched the insanely adorable videos on social media that show shenanigans of what happens when Dad babysits the kids.

Y'all. It pisses me off to no end. The videos are cute, but they're wrong. Dads don't babysit their own kids. Dads parent their children. They spend time with their children. They play with their children. Equating them to a job that a high school girl does on the weekends devalues their role as a parent.

Ryan is an excellent parent. He cares for two step-sons and a daughter, without instruction from me regarding their care. He speaks to them like their equals while still maintaining authority over them. He takes interest in their hobbies and activities, and introduces them to new things. He makes sure that they make cards for me- Valentine's, Mother's Day, my birthday. He plays board games. He helps them with homework. He shoos me out of the house, and then does the daily routine with them (that we normally share). He takes them to the doctor, cleans up after sick kids, and wakes up early on the weekends with them. He cooks them meals, puts bandaids on scrapes, and folds their laundry.

Ryan is a Dad. He's not the babysitter. And I have so much to learn from him.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

the one where we ruin textiles

Over six years ago I purchased a couch. It had clean lines and was comfy. It came with tons of pillows and was just beautiful.

And it was barely off-white.

Do you know what moving does to an off-white couch? Do you know what a husband who has a tendency to spill his coffee does to an off-white couch? DO YOU KNOW WHAT CHILDREN DO TO AN OFF-WHITE COUCH?

It quickly becomes less off-white and more of a dirty wanna-be beige.

But I wasn't worried. I scoured Pinterest and decided that I would just dye the couch a new color. I WOULD JUST DYE IT A NEW COLOR.

I followed the directions explicitly, and decided to just dye the seat cushions first. And it went great! The color was like a foresty/bluish green color. The stains were being covered! Everything was perfect. Until it dried. And then the dye somehow disappeared. Except for the areas that were previously stained were now foresty/bluish green stains.

So then we got a slipcover. A horrible, cheap slipcover that didn't really fit the couch and got saggy after anyone breathed on the couch. A slipcover that made Ryan so irrationally angry at a polyester blend that one day it was ripped from the couch and a blanket was just sort of folded on the cushions.

At the same time, we got a kitten. Or found it in our garage and Ryan begrudgingly let us keep it. A kitten who decided that the pleather love seat that we had was the perfect scratching post despite being squired with water whenever she got near it.



We got a new couch. It's beautiful, kind, and sometimes I let the kids sit on it.

Friday, June 17, 2016

the one where i'm exhausted.

I'm entering my fourth month as a SAHM, and I'm exhausted. 

Like, exhausted in ways that I never understood. I've been peed on. I've broken up more fights than I thought possible. Did you know it was possible to argue about cereal?


I've killed countless fish. We rescued a kitten. I've nearly passed out blowing up a baby pool. I have said the phrase "I'm not a short order cook"...which just lead to a line of questioning that I didn't expect. I've folded laundry, swept, mopped, meal planned, kept an organized family appointments calendar, loaded the dishwasher, and consumed more pots of coffee than my kidneys appreciate.

I've snuggled, played Legos, read books, "mined" for minerals, ran through sprinklers, played endless board games, and watched one of them really ride a bike for the first time. I've made muffins, pies, and brought meals to friends. I've kissed ouchies, cheered, and given Magical Dream Spells every night that the boys are home.

I am exhausted. In a way I couldn't ever imagine.

And it's been the absolute best gift that Ryan has ever given me.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

the one where we got married

On March 20th, Ryan and I stood in front of our children, our families, and our friends to make our promises to each other. 

It was loud, messy, far from perfect but full of a lot of love...just like us. He is simply the best, and makes me feel like I'm the light of his world every single day. He makes me want to be a better person, and let's me be the best version of myself at the same time.

Marrying your best friend and throwing a party to celebrate it is pretty much the best. You should really do it.

Saturday, January 30, 2016


Her breath is hot against my cheek, smelling like Cheerios. She nuzzles in, closer than I thought was humanly possible. Her sticky, chubby fingers grasp handfuls of my shirt, her chest rising and falling with each deep breath. Her stirring slows until she stops completely, finally content with the way her body meshes into mine. 

My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest because I know that soon she will be chasing her brothers around the house, too busy to snuggle. 

This is important.

Lazy afternoons with nothing but the delicious weight of a snoring baby on the agenda. Squeals from little boys eating gross jelly beans. Countless games of Uno and Candy Land. Watching the same tricks on the trampoline on repeat. Taking note of Halloween costume requests in February. Writing notes from the Tooth Fairy. Kissing boo-boos. Making school lunches. Reading bedtime stories.

This is what I want to remember. 

Being a parent, being THEIR mom is more incredible than I could have ever imagined. Experiencing life through their eyes, watching them learn by trying new things, taking wobbly steps and getting to grow with them is a beautiful, messy gift.

And I wouldn't trade it for anything.